5 Big Reasons We Can't Accept A Compliment

Do you feel awkward when you hear a compliment? Ever wish you knew the perfect thing to say? Here’s how to respond to a compliment in the best way!

Let’s face it, very few of us can actually accept a compliment, and even fewer know how to respond to a compliment calmly without running the risk of turning into a motormouth.

Many of us live in fear of being complimented because we just don’t know how to react, and generally, when we are complimented, our knee-jerk reaction is to ignore it, deny it or deflect it.

Compliments are meant to make you feel good and build your self-esteem. But, if you aren’t accepting them or deflect them, you do yourself a disservice and potentially offend the person who tries to make you feel good.

Your response to a compliment is not only important to not offend the compliment giver, but also to build your self-esteem. If someone compliments you, accept it, stick it in your pocket, and feel good someone noticed how fantastic you are.

# We wish to appear humble

As human beings, we constantly worry how our words and actions might be perceived by others. One of our main fears is being deemed as arrogant. After all, it is often one of the top criticisms we may have about others, so perish the thought that someone else might believe YOU to be arrogant!

As a result, we often believe that by rejecting a compliment, putting ourselves down, and downplaying our achievements, we might seem more humble and modest. [Read: 20 signs you’re a secret people pleaser and just don’t realize it]

# We bully ourselves

Some of us are self-deprecating, self-destructive and self-bullying. It comes from our unrealistic ideals of perfection, and the pressure and expectations we put on ourselves to meet those ideals.

Every single one of us falls short of perfection because it is unattainable. Yet, we still choose to constantly put ourselves down and bully ourselves into believing that we are not good enough.

As a consequence, many of us then reject compliments because we genuinely believe that they are undeserved.

# We can’t stand the pressure

Many of us dread receiving compliments because we feel that they heighten the expectations of ourselves.

For example, if someone were to compliment you on your outfit on one particular day, would you then feel pressured to look equally as amazing every other day for fear of forever being judged against that one particularly good version of yourself on that one particularly good day?

We attempt to remedy this situation by rejecting the compliment in the first place and downplaying our achievements for fear of being a disappointment to others in the future.

# We are distrusting

When receiving a compliment, it is often difficult to perceive whether the other person is being sincere. Perhaps they have a motive or are trying to provoke a particular reaction?

Cast your minds to cult teen movie from the early 2000s “Mean Girls” and the infamous Queen Bee, Regina George. In one particular scene, she stops a fellow classmate in the hallway and pays her a compliment: “Oh my god, I love your skirt! Where did you get it?”

The moment the girl turns her back, she mutters: “That is the ugliest fucking skirt I’ve ever seen.” Many of us, living in fear of a moment like this, attempt to save face by denying the compliment and attempting to align our response with what we believe is the complimenter’s true opinion.

# We love to criticize

As a society, we have a knack for spotting flaws. Most of us have sat around with our friends complaining about the veins on our legs, the pores on our nose and the excess fat around our hip bones.

After all, you are surely the most qualified person to make judgment on yourself, right? You could even go as far to say that we enjoy complaining about ourselves as much as we like complaining about others!

Consequently, we often find it easier to accept criticism over compliments, simply because they are more often in agreement with our own beliefs.