5 Effective Ways To Deal With Toxic Mother In Law
By: Shweta Thu, 28 May 2020 10:00 AM
Being nervous around your in-laws during the initial days of your marriage is normal. However, if you think you are noticing signs that your mother-in-law hates you, you might be dealing with a toxic mother-in-law.
If you are in a situation where you need to handle a toxic mother-in-law, you may need some tips on how to stand your ground and/or communicate better with your family member so that you can move forward with your relationship. It is important to be on even ground with mother-in-law, and not feel bad about your situation. Many times, setting the boundaries early on can be necessary as opposed to being passive aggressive. There are many different strategies to keep family relationships strong and prevent monsters-in-law from getting ugly.
Here are tips that can help you deal with a toxic mother-in-law:
* Don’t take it personally
If you have issues with family members, try not to take it personally. Maybe your mother-in-law dislikes you for deep, set reasons that have nothing to do with you at all. Maybe she is upset about losing her son to another woman. Maybe she is upset with herself. Whatever the reason may be, there is a good chance that it isn’t personal.
* Evaluate the situation with open mind
If you are contemplating how to handle your "unruly" mother-in-law, evaluate whether you may be at fault in the situation too. Have you been playing a toxic role in your mother-in-law’s life as well? Is the entire toxic relationship a two-way street? Understand that you could be at fault in some way, shape, or form. You don’t have to feel bad about admitting that you’ve played a role. Just do your best to understand the root of the problem, no matter what the cause may be, and try to move forward from it.
* Be okay with not getting approval
There is a chance that no matter what you do, approval from your mother-in-law may never come. If you’re trying to figure out how to handle a toxic mother-in-law, you’ll need to be okay with the fact that no matter how hard you try to gain approval from your mother- or father-in-law, you may never get their approval. As long as you have genuine love for your husband, then you should be able to live with this.
* Be honest about the situation with your husband
When learning how to go about setting a strong foundation for your relationship between you and a toxic mother-in-law, you need to be honest with your husband about the situation. They know their parents better than anyone else. They will be able to mediate the situation and figure out how to mend it if possible. Go to them for advice and comfort in your time of need. If your husband can’t help you or understand your issues with their mother, then you have bigger problems at hand. You might want to focus on your relationship with your husband to help him understand the situation first.
* Put your marriage above everything else
Lastly, when you learn how to handle a toxic mother-in-law, the best solution is to have an open and honest conversation with your mother-in-law face to face. This is the only real way to solve whatever issues you two have with one another. Put any tension you have to the side and try to work it out for the sake of your marriage, and for the sake of your husband. In the end, you two are family now, and it is best if you try to get along.