8 Rules You Need To Follow To Be A Good Partner
By: Pinki Mon, 22 Feb 2021 8:03 PM
Your partner may be flawed, but are you truly perfect? Read these 8 rules to know if you’re a good partner before you point out your partner’s flaws.
It’s easy to focus on what your partner is doing wrong, to get annoyed and frustrated by it, but have you ever stopped to think that maybe you aren’t doing everything right either?
It’s easy to see flaws in others but is it as easy to see flaws in ourselves? How do you know whether or not you are being a good partner?
# You have a right to be angry but you don’t have the right to be cruel
If you want to be a good partner, then this is a really important one to remember. Everyone has a right to be angry, sometimes it can’t be helped, however it’s the way you deal with that anger that determines whether or not you are being fair.
It’s okay to tell your partner if they have done something to upset you, it’s not okay to insult them for it, to bring up the past or to throw things in their face. If you do this, then you won’t solve the issue that made you angry in the first place, you will just escalate the conversation into an argument. The likelihood is that your partner won’t have meant to upset you, so deliberately hurting them or insulting them is out of line, no matter how justified you feel at the time.
# Sometimes when you’re right, you still need to back down, for the sake of peace
It’s easy to get carried away in an argument, especially if you’re right. What isn’t easy is backing down. Sometimes, it just doesn’t matter who is right and who is wrong, the only thing that matters is ending the argument. Don’t let your pride rule you, you need to know when it’s okay to back down and make peace.
# Accepting that people change will stop you from having to make a change
People change all the time, everything that happens to a person changes them in some way. Sometimes, it’s unnoticeable and sometimes, it smacks you right across the face. Accepting the fact that people change and going with it, will stop you from finding yourself with a stranger. If you can’t accept the changes that come from life, then sooner or later, you will find yourself needing to make a big change to get away from it.
# No one is perfect and that includes you
It’s easy to say that you wouldn’t have done something, you wouldn’t have acted in that way or you wouldn’t have said what they said. It’s easy to judge other people from afar and criticize their choices, but you need to remember that you make bad choices sometimes too.
You are not perfect and you do things wrong, just like everybody else. And do you have anyone on your back about that? It’s unfair to expect anyone to be perfect all of the time and it’s even more unfair to make them feel bad about it.
# Your partner’s friends were supporting them, long before you were
It’s really important that you try to get on with your partner’s friends. They were there long before you and have supported your partner through difficult times, and that means that they care. You don’t even have to like them, you just need to get on with them for your partner’s sake.
You don’t want to be that person who asks their partner to choose between you and their friends or family, because either way, you won’t like the result. Your partner will either pick their friends/family or they will resent you for making them choose.
# You don’t have to be selfless but you do have to care
You shouldn’t have to be selfless in a relationship, but you do have to care about your partner. It’s not a case of putting them first every time because you deserve to be put first sometimes too. It’s knowing when you should put them first. Knowing when it really matters will make the most difference to them because it shows that you care about them and in a way, it does make you selfless.
# Never expect anything from your partner
One thing that many partners do wrong is when they expect things from their partner, like somehow it’s solely their partner’s responsibility to pay the bills or to bring a little romance into the relationship. It’s unfair and it’s setting your partner up to fail.
A partnership is between two people and it should be both of their responsibilities to bring aspects to the relationship. This shouldn’t be expected though, it should be done without question. To expect something, is just as bad as demanding it, because when you don’t get it, you will be left looking like a spoilt child throwing a tantrum.
# Be supportive in the good times and the bad times
It’s easy to support your partner through the good times, like work promotions and goal achievements, it isn’t always as easy to support them through the bad times though. Yet these are the times that they will really rely on your support, so you need to give it to them.
It doesn’t matter if you are disappointed, the likelihood is that they will be ten times more disappointed than you. So just be supportive and help them through, don’t kick them while they are down because they might not get back up again.