5 Tips For Parents To Handle A Rebel Child
By: Shweta Fri, 22 May 2020 5:53 PM
A defiant child can be parents’ nightmare. There is usually an underlying reason behind the rebel behaviour of your child. It is quite possible that your child is seeking attention, or perhaps rebellion is your child’s way of expressing his or her frustration about some circumstance at school, either way, it is important that you do not brush off the demonstration of rebel or defiant behaviour.
If your child, like any other, has occasional periods of rebellion, there are certain techniques to handle your child’s behaviour and change things. While dealing with a rebel child, it is of utmost importance to bear in mind that the situation should always be handled with poise and patience.
* Make your expectations clear
Children of all ages need to know the family rules about acceptable behaviours. The time to discuss these matters is when things are going well, not after an incident has occurred. Remember, the goal here is not to have your child become a saint and never break any rules at all. It is to teach that when the rules are broken, consequences follow. You can't expect your child to be compliant if he doesn’t know your expectations. Sit down with your kids and let them know what types of behaviours you will not tolerate. List examples of unacceptable behaviours such as treating others with disrespect, refusing to do chores or homework, mistreating possessions, or physical aggression like hitting or biting.
* Act, Don’t React
When you witness defiant behaviour from your child, losing your temper will not solve things.Instead, take a step back and tell your child that you don’t approve of the behaviour and that it needs to stop. Tell them you'll talk about consequences at a later time when you can both talk calmly.This will give your child time to think about their actions and the potential consequences. Not only are you using the time to calm yourself down, but you’re also teaching them to do the same.
* Enforce Consequences
Children understand simple things. Effective consequences can be enforces in two simple ways. One, by taking away something from them such as your attention, an exciting environment, or a pleasant activity. You can send them in a time-out, for instance. The second is by imposing a new situation on your child. For example, doing extra chores or having to run errands. Without question, consequences require time and energy to enforce. But if you don’t follow through with consequences for bad behaviour, it sets the precedence that they can get away with it.
* Maintain a power position
When you engage in an argument with your child, you're enforcing the child's perception that they have the power to challenge you, which can lead to even more defiant behaviour. Know that the more you engage your child in an argument, the more control you give away. Choose to make a statement reinforcing that the behaviour is unacceptable and leave.
* Do not permit second chances or negotiation
Once your child is old enough to understand that behaviours have consequences, don’t give him repeat chances. This tends to indicate that you don’t take your own rules seriously. It is not uncommon for children to want to negotiate treats or privileges in return for good behaviour. Do not leave any room for that.
* Reinforce the positive
Make sure you build on the positive attitudes and actions of your children. Praise your children for their positive behaviours, like rewarding them when they show a cooperative attitude. Positive reinforcement can go a long way in raising a responsible child.
* Spend more time having open conversation with your children
When things are going well, take time out to sit with your child. Have an open conversation with them about the intent of the family rules and values. Make it perfectly clear that you want them to grow into a responsible, productive, self-reliant adult. Also, on the other hand, make time to listen to them. In case they have problems at school or with friends, they should feel safe to confide in you.
Parenting is exhausting enough when things are going well, but when one of your children is purposefully misbehaving, the difficulties are multiplied. Therefore, choose how you spend your energy wisely. While you can’t change your child’s attitude, you can influence it through your own. Some behaviours aren’t worth spending your mental energy on. For instance, if your child is overly bent on following fashion trends that you are not very fond of, unless the clothing choices are outright outrageous, it is better to overlook since the trend is not there to stay. Choose your battles wisely and when you do, ensure that you make a firm point of change.