Reasons For Lack Of Emotional Intimacy In Partners

It’s almost cliche to point out that as your marriage logs more years, you will experience a lack of intimacy between you and your partner. Every romantic comedy and stand up comedian has made a point to exploit this general truth for a few laughs. With times comes familiarity, and with familiarity, intimacy can suffer.

As easy as it would be to simply chalk it up to the length of your relationship, there are plenty of other variables at play. There are many potential causes for a decreased amount of physical and emotional intimacy, and it’s worth the time to explore each one. Read on as we dive into what might be causing the distance between you and your partner.

* It’s not time’s fault, it’s your habits

Let’s just get this one out of the way, since it can absolutely be a cause for decreased closeness in your relationship.

To be fair, it’s not time’s fault. It’s more about the familiarity and trust that you have gained over that amount of time that contributes to your disconnection. Think of anything that you do over and over again on a daily basis.

* You or your partner can’t shake off the past

Although intimacy seems like it’s a subject that only involves you and your partner, there may be more to it than that.

Either you or your spouse may have some deep rooted emotions about intimacy due to past relationships. Your wife may have been sexually abused by a former partner, so she isn’t comfortable being close to you more often than once or twice a week. Your husband may have been cheated on, so his physical and emotional guards are having trouble coming down for you in your current relationship.

* Lack of intimacy or self-esteem?

If you or your partner are hesitant to engage in something intimate, it may simply be because of low self-esteem.

Even though you both love each other and feel safe with one another, it’s possible that thoughts of “I’m not good enough” still loom large. Your partner may look at you and think that their physical body is shameful by comparison. Rather than viewing an intimate moment as a chance to connect, they may just be stuck in their head, thinking about how embarrassed they are that you have to see them naked every time you hop in bed.