10 Do's and Don'ts in a Relationship Argument

Disagreements are a natural part of most relationships. While some couples seem to enjoy perfect harmony and rarely argue, for the rest of us, occasional misunderstandings and minor disputes are fairly common.

Getting into an argument doesn’t make you a bad partner, and it certainly doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. What truly matters is how you handle the aftermath. The way you resolve a fight can either strengthen your bond or slowly tear it apart.

While you may not always be able to avoid conflict, you can control your response. Here are 10 things you should never do during an argument with your partner:

# Don’t go silent

If your partner approaches you with a concern or question, don’t shut down or act like they don’t deserve a response. Silent treatment may feel like a calm reaction, but it often deepens the divide. Your partner might feel dismissed or unimportant, which only escalates the issue.

# Don’t raise your hand

Physical aggression is never justified. If you find yourself lashing out physically, it often means you’ve run out of valid arguments or feel powerless. But violence is a major red flag in any relationship and can quickly turn it toxic. Always choose communication over aggression.

# Don’t hit below the belt

Avoid saying cruel or irrelevant things just to hurt your partner. Insults like, “You’re a failure,” or “No one even likes you,” are deeply damaging and unnecessary. Once spoken, such words can’t be taken back. Remember, this is someone you care about—treat them that way, even during conflict.

# Don’t issue threats

Saying things like “I’m leaving” or “We should break up” during a heated moment can cause lasting emotional harm, even if you didn’t mean it. Threatening the relationship doesn’t solve the problem—it adds fear and insecurity to it.

# Don’t use foul language

Cursing or verbally abusing your partner won’t help prove your point. In fact, it’ll likely make them feel disrespected and even angrier. If you’re aiming for resolution, keep the language respectful.

# Don’t be arrogant or dismissive

Sarcastic comments like, “So what are you going to do about it?” show contempt, not maturity. Arrogance shuts down communication. If your goal is to resolve the argument, show empathy—not superiority.

# Don’t exaggerate their flaws

Avoid saying things like “You always do this,” or “You never listen.” These sweeping generalizations only put your partner on the defensive. Stick to the specific issue instead of turning it into a character attack.

# Don’t confess things just to win

Some people reveal personal secrets mid-argument—like a spending habit or betrayal—just to shock their partner and “win” the fight. This doesn’t resolve the issue; it shifts focus and causes deeper pain. Confessions should come from honesty, not spite.

# Don’t pretend you’re not upset

If you’re angry, own it. Bottling up emotions or pretending you’re “fine” only delays real communication. Acknowledging your anger helps your partner understand your feelings and starts the process of resolution.

# Don’t dig up the past

When arguments turn into history lessons, resolution becomes nearly impossible. Stick to the current issue. Rehashing old wounds only makes your partner feel like nothing ever changes, and that can cause emotional detachment.