10 Key Signs He is Not That Into You

Probably that one friend—the one who tells you it’s not your fault. Instead of being blunt, they comfort you with stories: maybe he got held up at work, or he’s just playing it cool. They might even say you’re so amazing that he’s intimidated by you.

As nice as those fairytales sound, if a guy is sending you mixed signals and playing games, what you really need isn’t reassurance—it’s honesty.

Let’s be real, hearing “he’s just not that into you” stings. It’s like getting whacked in the shins. But sometimes, a little truth is exactly what we need—not because it’s easy, but because it helps us move on with dignity and clarity.

Whether he’s into you or not, your reaction to his inconsistency should be the same: recognize your worth and stop chasing someone who’s not showing up for you. If you're constantly second-guessing his interest, here are some signs you shouldn’t ignore:

# You’re always the one reaching out

If you’re the only one initiating texts or calls, it’s a clear sign. A guy who genuinely likes you will make an effort to talk to you—no matter how busy he is.

# His words don’t match his actions

He may talk a big game—promising fancy dates or future plans—but if nothing ever comes of it, it’s all talk. Words without follow-through mean nothing.

# You’re doing all the work

From texting first and making plans to asking thoughtful questions and doing kind things—if it’s all you and zero effort from him, he’s not interested in a relationship. He’s just enjoying the perks.

# He constantly flakes on plans

Are plans always vague or “maybes”? If he’s always canceling or leaving you in limbo, you’re not a priority. Everyone gets busy, but someone who values you will find a way to follow through—or at least make it up to you.

# You’re always waiting

Whether it’s waiting for a text back, a definite plan, or just some attention—if he’s making you feel like you’re on standby, he’s not valuing your time. That’s a red flag.

# He doesn’t try to impress you

A guy who likes you will make an effort—clean up a bit, wear something nice, smell good. If he’s showing up in stained shirts while expecting you to dress up, it’s a one-sided dynamic.

# He doesn’t care what you do

If trying to make him jealous doesn’t even faze him, it’s because he doesn’t see you as someone he could lose. That says everything.

# It’s all on his terms

He only wants to hang out when it’s convenient for him. He doesn’t adjust his schedule or make compromises. That’s not effort—that’s self-interest.

# You never go out together

If he avoids introducing you to friends, hides you from roommates, or keeps you behind closed doors, he’s either not serious—or he’s hiding something. Either way, you deserve better.

# He insists on keeping it casual

If he’s always reminding you that “this isn’t serious” or sets clear limits on how close you can get, believe him. When someone tells you they don’t want more, don’t try to convince them otherwise.