10 Ways To Get a Guy To Open Up

At times, expressing our thoughts and emotions to a guy can feel surprisingly hard. Emotional availability has become the ultimate prize in modern dating and relationships. You’ve matched, gone on a few good dates, maybe even met his dog—but now you’re standing at the edge of a familiar dilemma: how do you get him to truly open up?

Let us guess—it feels like you’re trying to crack a locked safe. Except instead of cash or jewels, you’re searching for something far more valuable: honest, unfiltered emotions.

Before we attempt to unlock the vault of his feelings, though, let’s clear something up. Men aren’t emotional Fort Knoxes that require a secret code to access.

They’re just people. Sometimes emotionally guarded, yes—but people all the same. So let’s ditch the emotional crowbars and grappling hooks, shall we?

We’ve already explored why some men struggle to express their emotions. Now, let’s shift our focus to practical, realistic ways to encourage open communication.

Below are actionable, relatable, and psychology-backed tips to help you understand how to get a guy to open up and improve communication in your relationship.

# Let him know it’s safe to talk about his emotions

Many men grow up hearing—directly or indirectly—that expressing emotions is “unmanly” or a sign of weakness. This might come from being teased for crying as a child or being told to “man up” by authority figures.

Over time, emotional vulnerability becomes something to avoid. If you want him to lower his guard, reassure him—through words and actions—that you won’t judge or think less of him for opening up.

# Show that you’re truly listening

When he’s sharing something meaningful, are you fully present—or just waiting for your turn to speak?

Genuine connection comes from active listening, not passive hearing. Giving him your full attention signals that what he’s saying matters. This approach mirrors Carl Rogers’ person-centered therapy, which emphasizes empathy, presence, and understanding.

# Remember that nonverbal cues matter

Your body language speaks volumes. Nods, smiles, eye contact, and even subtle gestures show engagement and interest. At the same time, be mindful of his nonverbal signals too.

Think of body language as the seasoning—it adds depth and meaning to the conversation without saying a word.

# Use open-ended questions

Compare “Did you have a good day?” with “What made your day interesting?” The second invites reflection, storytelling, and emotion.

Open-ended questions—rooted in the Socratic method—encourage deeper thinking and self-expression. Asking the right questions can gently guide him toward sharing what’s beneath the surface.

# Acknowledge and reinforce healthy expression

When he communicates clearly or opens up emotionally, let him know you appreciate it. A simple compliment, hug, or reassuring response can go a long way.

Positive reinforcement helps him understand what feels supportive and encourages him to continue expressing himself in that way.

# Create space for uninterrupted conversations

Meaningful discussions rarely happen when one of you is distracted. Trying to talk while multitasking—or while he’s absorbed in a screen—usually backfires.

Set aside intentional, distraction-free time. A walk, a quiet dinner, or even a relaxed evening together can create the right environment for deeper connection.

# Don’t mock men who show vulnerability

If he sees you teasing or belittling other men for expressing emotions, he’ll think twice before doing the same himself.

Emotional openness requires safety. If he fears ridicule or judgment, he’s unlikely to let his guard down.

# Lead with vulnerability

Opening up first can encourage him to follow suit. This aligns with the psychological concept of reciprocity—the natural tendency to return what someone else offers.

Sharing something personal shows trust and signals that vulnerability is welcome.

# Respect his communication style

He might find it easier to express himself through text rather than face-to-face—and that’s okay. Communication doesn’t have to look one specific way.

He may stumble over words or struggle to articulate his feelings at first. Let him express himself in the way that feels most natural to him, without pressure to mirror your style.

# Let go of judgment

Eye-rolling, correcting him, or making sarcastic remarks can shut down communication instantly.

A judgment-free space is essential for building trust. Without emotional safety, even the best intentions won’t help him open up.