10 Ways To Get Closer to Someone

We all have that one person in our lives—a friend or perhaps a crush—whom we genuinely enjoy spending time with and talking to, yet somehow the relationship never moves beyond a certain point. You share a good connection, enjoy each other’s company and feel comfortable together, but there’s still something that keeps you from considering them a truly close friend. If you’re wondering how to build a deeper connection with someone, it may be time to take a few intentional steps.

I once had a friendship like this. We would spend weekends together, message each other regularly and have plenty of fun, but we never reached the point where we could openly share our deepest thoughts and feelings. Those personal conversations that usually happen between best friends were missing. Although we were good friends, there was still an invisible barrier between us.

If you feel that same distance in one of your relationships, you can gradually work on breaking down that barrier. However, moving from being casual friends to becoming genuinely close takes time. It requires patience, trust and effort, and it cannot be rushed or forced.

Some friendships become deeply connected almost instantly, while others develop slowly over months or even years. Both are completely normal. Building emotional closeness does not come naturally to everyone, and the other person also needs to be comfortable with opening up. If you’re ready to strengthen a friendship and create a deeper bond, these tips can help.

1. Make the Relationship a Priority

A meaningful relationship needs time and attention to grow. If you genuinely want to become closer to someone, make an effort to stay connected and spend quality time together. Think about whether this is a relationship you truly want to nurture, and then be willing to invest your time and energy in it.

2. Open Up Gradually

Getting closer to someone means allowing them to know more about you, too. While asking questions is important, you also need to share your own experiences. Talk about something that happened at work, discuss a personal challenge or simply share a funny incident from your day.

Opening up gives the other person a chance to understand you better and creates opportunities for a deeper emotional connection.

3. Ask Meaningful Questions

If you want to know someone on a deeper level, go beyond small talk. Ask questions that help you understand their thoughts, dreams, experiences and opinions. Take a genuine interest in their life instead of simply keeping the conversation going.

The more you understand each other, the easier it becomes to develop trust and emotional closeness.

4. Share Both the Good and the Bad

A strong friendship isn't built only around happy moments. If you only share your achievements and exciting experiences, the relationship may remain somewhat superficial.

Life includes both successes and difficult moments, so don't be afraid to talk about the challenges you're facing. Sharing your worries and vulnerabilities can help build trust and show the other person that you feel comfortable confiding in them.

5. Practise Active Listening

Being a close friend isn't just about having interesting conversations—it's also about knowing how to listen. When the other person is talking, give them your full attention instead of checking your phone, planning your response or immediately turning the conversation toward your own experiences.

Listen carefully, ask relevant questions and show genuine interest in what they're saying. Feeling heard and understood can bring people much closer.

6. Avoid Comparing Them With Other Friends

Friendships shouldn't become competitions. Avoid comparing a new or developing friendship with your other relationships. Every person and every friendship is different.

Past experiences may have taught you to be cautious, but it's important not to judge someone based on what another person did. Give the relationship an opportunity to develop on its own and allow trust to grow naturally.

7. Find Things You Both Enjoy

You don't need to have everything in common with someone to become close. Instead, focus on the interests, values and activities you genuinely share.

Whether you both enjoy travelling, watching movies, trying new restaurants, exercising or simply talking for hours, shared interests can give you more opportunities to spend time together and create meaningful memories.

8. Be Someone They Can Rely On

Reliability plays an important role in building trust. Constantly cancelling plans, disappearing or failing to keep promises can create distance in a friendship.

If you want someone to feel comfortable depending on you, show up when you say you will. Make an effort to be there during important moments, respond when they need support and follow through on your commitments. Small acts of consistency can make a big difference.

9. Become Part of Each Other's Lives

As a friendship grows, make an effort to understand the world around the other person. Get to know their friends and, when appropriate, meet their family. Learn about the things that matter to them and the people who are important in their life.

At the same time, allow them to become familiar with your life and your social circle. Gradually becoming part of each other's worlds can make the relationship feel more natural and meaningful.

10. Don't Neglect Your Other Friendships

Building a new close friendship doesn't mean you need to distance yourself from the people who have already been part of your life. Sometimes, when we're excited about a new connection, we unintentionally stop giving time to our old friends.

Try to maintain a healthy balance. Give your new friendship the attention it deserves while continuing to appreciate and nurture your existing relationships. Strong friendships can coexist, and maintaining them can create a richer and more supportive social life.