10 Ways To Get Your Best Friend Back

We’ve all experienced it at some point: a heated argument, an unanswered message, or a friendship that slowly fades without any clear explanation. Suddenly, the person who once shared all your secrets and adventures is no longer around. If you’re wondering how to get your best friend back after a falling out, remember that you’re not alone, and the situation may not be as hopeless as it feels.

The good news is that friendship breakups don’t always have to be permanent. With patience, honesty, a willingness to admit your mistakes, and genuine effort, you may be able to repair the relationship and build an even stronger bond than before.

Friendships, particularly during your late teens and early twenties, often go through unexpected changes. Personal growth, changing priorities, misunderstandings, and busy schedules can create distance between even the closest friends. However, a difficult phase doesn’t necessarily mean your friendship has reached its end.

Repairing a meaningful friendship can create opportunities for better communication, greater understanding, and deeper emotional closeness. Although reconciliation takes effort from both sides, a sincere attempt to reconnect can be the first step towards healing old wounds.

Whether you’ve grown apart, experienced a painful argument, or found yourselves caught in an uncomfortable misunderstanding, rebuilding your friendship may still be possible. Here are 10 thoughtful ways to reconnect with your best friend using empathy, patience, and a genuine desire to make things right.

1. Reflect on What Went Wrong

Before reaching out to your best friend, take some time to understand what caused the distance between you. Did a particular argument damage your relationship, or did you gradually lose touch because of changing priorities? Perhaps someone’s feelings were hurt, or everyday responsibilities simply left less time for the friendship.

Be honest with yourself about your role in the situation. Even if you believe your friend contributed to the problem, consider whether your words or actions might have made things worse. Reflecting on what happened can help you approach the conversation calmly instead of becoming defensive.

Understanding the underlying issue also makes it easier to identify what needs to change if you both decide to rebuild the friendship.

2. Give Them Space

When you miss your best friend, your first instinct may be to call repeatedly or send several messages to resolve the situation immediately. However, giving them some breathing room can be a more respectful approach.

If your friendship ended after a heated disagreement, both of you may need time to process your emotions and think about what happened. Space can help prevent another argument and allow you to approach the situation with a clearer perspective.

There is no fixed waiting period that works for every friendship. Depending on the circumstances, a few days or longer may be appropriate. The important thing is to respect your friend’s boundaries and avoid pressuring them to respond before they are ready.

3. Reach Out With Care

Once you feel ready to reconnect, consider sending a simple, sincere message. You don’t need to write a long explanation or immediately revisit every detail of the disagreement. Instead, focus on letting your friend know that you value them and would welcome an opportunity to talk.

For example, you could say, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about you lately. I miss our friendship, and I’d love to talk whenever you feel comfortable.”

Keep your message warm and free from blame. Avoid demanding an immediate reply or making them feel guilty for the distance between you. The goal is to open the door to communication, not force them to walk through it.

4. Apologize If You’ve Hurt Them

If your words or actions contributed to the falling out, offering a genuine apology can be an important step towards reconciliation. A meaningful apology acknowledges the hurt caused without trying to justify the behaviour or shift the blame.

Instead of saying, “I’m sorry you felt that way,” try something more direct, such as, “I’m sorry I spoke to you that way. I understand why it hurt you, and I wish I had handled the situation differently.”

Be specific about what you regret and show that you understand how your actions affected your friend. You don’t have to accept responsibility for things you didn’t do, but you should be willing to own your mistakes.

Remember that an apology is not a guarantee of forgiveness. Its purpose is to acknowledge the hurt and demonstrate that you genuinely care about making things right.

5. Don’t Expect Instant Forgiveness

Even after you’ve apologized sincerely, your best friend may need time to process what happened. If the disagreement damaged their trust, they might not feel comfortable returning to the way things were immediately.

Try not to interpret their hesitation as a definite rejection. Instead, give them the freedom to decide when and how they want to reconnect. Let them know that you’re willing to talk whenever they feel ready, without repeatedly asking whether they have forgiven you.

Rebuilding a friendship requires patience and consistent effort. Rather than expecting everything to return to normal overnight, focus on showing through your actions that you respect their feelings and are committed to improving the relationship.

6. Listen Carefully When They Share Their Feelings

When you finally have a conversation, make an effort to listen without interrupting or immediately defending yourself. Your friend may have been carrying hurt, disappointment, or frustration that you didn’t fully understand at the time.

Allow them to explain their perspective, even if some of what they say is difficult to hear. Ask thoughtful questions when necessary and acknowledge their feelings instead of dismissing them.

For example, you might say, “I didn’t realise that my actions affected you so much. Thank you for telling me how you felt.”

Active listening involves paying attention to their words, asking for clarification, and making sure you understand their concerns. When both friends feel heard and respected, it becomes easier to work through misunderstandings and find common ground.

7. Show Them What Has Changed

If certain behaviours contributed to the falling out, think about how you can address them moving forward. Perhaps you need to communicate more openly, manage your temper, respect boundaries, or make a greater effort to stay in touch.

Share these changes honestly without promising to become a completely different person overnight. Meaningful growth is demonstrated through consistent actions rather than impressive words.

For instance, if your friend felt neglected because you frequently cancelled plans, make an effort to be more reliable. If misunderstandings were common, practise expressing your feelings more clearly.

Your friend may need time to trust these changes, so avoid expecting immediate reassurance. Show them that you have reflected on the situation and are willing to contribute to a healthier friendship.

8. Rebuild the Connection Through Small Gestures

Once communication begins to improve, focus on rebuilding your friendship gradually. You don’t need to recreate your old relationship immediately or pretend that the disagreement never happened.

Start with small, thoughtful gestures. Share a funny meme that reminds you of an inside joke, ask how an important event went, or respond warmly to something they post on social media.

These little interactions can help restore familiarity and create opportunities for more natural conversations. However, pay attention to how your friend responds. If they seem uncomfortable or continue to ask for space, respect their wishes.

Think of rebuilding a friendship as nurturing something new rather than trying to recreate the past exactly as it was. Small, consistent efforts can gradually help restore warmth and trust.

9. Suggest a Casual, Low-Pressure Hangout

If your friend seems open to reconnecting, suggest meeting somewhere familiar and comfortable. You could invite them for coffee, take a walk in the park, visit a favourite café, or watch a film you both enjoy.

Choose an activity that allows you to spend time together without making the meeting feel like a serious confrontation. You don’t necessarily have to discuss every unresolved issue during your first get-together.

Sometimes, sharing a few laughs or remembering what you enjoy about each other can make reconnecting feel more natural. If the disagreement still needs to be addressed, you can have that conversation when both of you feel comfortable.

The aim is to create a relaxed opportunity to reconnect without placing too many expectations on the meeting.

10. Remind Them of Your Special Memories Together

A shared history can be a meaningful starting point when trying to reconnect with an old best friend. Think about the experiences that brought you closer, whether they involved spontaneous adventures, late-night conversations, personal milestones, or moments when you supported each other through difficult times.

You might mention a funny incident you both still laugh about or share an old photograph that brings back happy memories. A simple message such as, “I came across this picture today and remembered how much fun we had that day,” can create an opportunity for a warm conversation.

Nostalgia can help remind both of you of the positive experiences that shaped your friendship. However, avoid using those memories to make your friend feel guilty or obligated to return.

Your shared past can be a bridge towards reconnecting, but a lasting friendship also depends on how you treat each other in the present and what you build together in the future.