10 Ways To Stop Being Toxic in a Relationship

Toxic behavior is never easy to be around. When you exhibit toxic traits, you often push people away and if they do stay, it may be because they’re being manipulated. Neither scenario leads to healthy or meaningful relationships. If this resonates with you, it might be time to reflect and begin the journey toward change.

If you're aiming to live a life grounded in authenticity, trust, and meaningful connections, it starts with letting go of toxic patterns and taking responsibility for your actions — past and present.

Being toxic doesn’t mean you're inherently a bad person. Often, it’s not intentional. You may have made harmful choices, but your desire to grow, seek redemption, and become better already speaks volumes.

Realizing that your behavior has been toxic is the first crucial step — and wanting to make amends is a powerful sign of growth.

From here, the path isn’t always easy. It requires deep self-reflection and the willingness to face uncomfortable truths about yourself. But the effort is worth it. True change comes when you're willing to face the hard parts to reach a healthier, more fulfilling version of yourself.

# Replace Negative Thoughts with Constructive Ones

You don’t have to be endlessly cheerful or pretend bad days don’t exist—we all have them. But when your mind drifts toward negativity in otherwise neutral or positive situations, try to shift your perspective.

For instance, if a friend announces their engagement, resist the urge to compare your own situation or assume they’re showing off. Instead, share in their joy and look forward to celebrating with them.

If someone opens up to you about their struggles, avoid dismissing their pain just because you’ve been through more. Remind yourself that everyone’s emotions are valid, and being supportive builds healthier relationships.

# Practice Daily Gratitude

Toxic patterns often stem from feeling like your life isn’t good enough. If you tend to focus on what’s going wrong, make an effort to notice what’s going right.

Each day, take a few minutes to reflect on things you’re grateful for—your health, your pet, a cozy home, or simply a good meal. Acknowledging the positives helps you stay grounded and appreciate what you have.

# Do Things That Truly Fulfill You

Stop doing things just to impress others or gain approval. Start doing things that bring you joy for their own sake.

Whether it’s joining an art class, going for a walk, or reading a book you love—find time to enjoy your own company. When you prioritize your own happiness, you become less reactive and more balanced.

# Embrace Humility

Toxic behavior can be fueled by an inability to laugh at yourself or admit mistakes.

Learning to be okay with imperfection is freeing. Laugh at your slip-ups, embrace your quirks, and stop being so hard on yourself. It not only makes you more relatable, but it also helps you grow emotionally.

# Steer Clear of Gossip

Gossip might feel like a way to bond or blow off steam, but it drags you—and others—into negativity.

If you find yourself in a gossip-heavy conversation, step away. When you're ready, gently steer the conversation in a healthier direction by saying something like, “Let’s talk about something else—I don’t feel right discussing this.”

That simple shift shows growth and can influence others to do the same.

# Be Kind Without Expectation

Do good just to do good—without looking for something in return.

Reach out to check in on a friend. Offer a helping hand to a stranger. Small, selfless acts of kindness often ripple outward and come back to you in meaningful ways. And most importantly, they help you feel more connected and fulfilled.

# Accept Your Flaws

Many toxic behaviors are rooted in deeply buried insecurities. You may have masked low self-esteem for so long that acknowledging your imperfections feels uncomfortable.

But accepting that you’re not perfect is a powerful step. You're reading this and reflecting already—that’s progress. You're doing the work, and that matters.

# Own Your Mistakes

When you’ve done something wrong—whether intentionally or not don’t dismiss it. Reflect on what led you to that decision and what you can learn from it.

Taking the time to understand your actions helps prevent repeat behavior and fosters emotional maturity.

# Apologize and Commit to Change

Apologizing might feel like admitting defeat, especially when you're used to being defensive. But it’s not a sign of weakness—it’s a mark of growth.

Taking responsibility, offering a genuine apology, and showing consistent effort to change demonstrates strength and integrity.

# Address Toxic Influences in Your Circle

Sometimes your own toxic traits are triggered by the people around you. You may unknowingly mirror their behavior or feel drained by their presence.

If someone consistently brings out the worst in you, consider creating distance. Notice how you feel when you're apart—do you feel lighter, more positive? If so, consider having an honest conversation with them. They may not be ready to hear it, and that’s okay. You’re responsible for your growth, not theirs.