As a woman who’s spent a fair amount of time navigating the dating world, I’ve always found it interesting how surprised some men are when I say I prefer to meet in public. Gentlemen, pause for a moment and think about why that might be.
Whether it’s a first meeting from a dating app or even a third date, many men seem unaware of the very real concerns women face while dating. I once had a man say, “What’s the worst that could happen? We don’t get along? At least we’ll learn something.”
But for many women—and yes, some men too—the “worst that could happen” is far more serious than a lack of chemistry. Men often assume the biggest risk is rejection. For women, the stakes can be much higher.
Hopefully, you’re beginning to understand. But if not, here are a few reasons women are cautious and insist on public meetups—just in case you think we’re overthinking it:
# 1 in 3 women will experience some form of intimate partner violence in their lifetime.
# 1 in 7 women have been physically injured by an intimate partner.
# 15% of women report feeling uncomfortable due to interactions on dating apps.
# 57% of online daters admit to lying about themselves.
# In the U.S., 20 people per minute are physically abused by a partner.
# Over 25% of rapists have used dating apps to find victims.
# 51% of dating app users are already in a relationship.
# 1 in 7 women have been stalked by a current or former partner.
# At least 10% of free dating profiles are fraudulent.
# Over 40% of men lie about their income, job, or relationship status to impress.
# In the UK, rape cases linked to online dating rose 450% from 2010–2016; 85% of victims were women.
# Online predators are responsible for 16,000+ abductions, 100 murders, and thousands of rapes each year.
# 55% of people who use online dating have received threats of violence.