We’ve all either been that woman or known that woman—the one with wild eyes and uncontrollable emotions, spiraling because someone just doesn’t listen or pushes all the wrong buttons. And let’s be honest: some men have a way of provoking reactions that make us feel like we’ve completely lost it. The worst part? It often becomes a vicious cycle. When we feel unheard, we tend to raise our voices—literally and figuratively.
Before long, you might find yourself yelling, pacing, texting furiously, or even acting in ways that don’t reflect who you really are. But this isn’t high school, and letting someone push you to your breaking point only chips away at your confidence and self-worth.
Here’s the truth: you’re not crazy. You’re just reacting in a way that feels out of control because someone else is pressing your emotional triggers. You have two choices: walk away from the person who brings out the worst in you, or learn how to manage your reactions.
If you choose to stay, remember this: you can’t control how he behaves, but you can control your own responses. The key is breaking the pattern. The next time you feel your temper rising, pause and try these calming strategies instead:
# Go for a WalkWhen you’re angry, adrenaline surges through your body, fueling that out-of-control feeling. Physical movement—like walking—helps burn it off and returns your body to a calmer state.
# Smile (Even If You Don’t Feel Like It)Smiling activates muscles that release serotonin, a mood-boosting chemical. It might feel silly, but even a brief smile can disrupt your anger and help you reset.
# Close Your Eyes and Picture a Calm PlaceVisualize your “safe space”—whether it’s a beach, a forest, or your childhood home. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and stay in that moment until your emotions settle.
# Step AwaySometimes the smartest thing you can do is walk away. You won’t solve anything in the heat of the moment. Distance helps restore perspective.
# Don’t Fall for His TriggersSome people know exactly how to push your buttons. If he’s one of them, recognize the pattern. Don’t let him manipulate your emotions. Respond with calm—or not at all.
# Put the Phone DownAvoid texting when you’re upset. You might say things you’ll regret, or misinterpret what he says. Wait until you're calm before continuing the conversation.
# Try Some Yoga
Yoga balances your energy and helps calm your mind. Even a few simple poses can help ground you when your emotions are spiraling.
# Keep a List of What You Love About HimWhen you’re not angry, jot down reasons you care about him. Refer to the list when you're upset—it might soften your heart and shift your perspective.
# Let Him Walk AwayIf he has a habit of storming off or shutting down during conflict, let him go. Don’t chase. Letting him sit with his own behavior often speaks louder than any words.
# Play the “Real or Not Real” GameWhen things get tense, strip the drama away with clear, direct questions. For example, “You said you’d be home early. Real or not real?” Stick to facts, not accusations.
# Go Shopping (Yes, Really)Sometimes a simple distraction—like a small shopping trip—can shift your mood, give you space, and help you avoid saying something you’ll later regret.
# Skip the AlcoholAlcohol intensifies emotions. If you're already upset, drinking will only escalate the situation. Wait until you’re in a better headspace.
# Call a Grounded FriendTalk to someone who won’t just validate your anger but will give you honest feedback. The right friend can talk you down and help you see things more clearly.
# Practice Staying Calm Before You Need ToStaying calm takes practice. Rehearse techniques like deep breathing or self-talk regularly so you’re better prepared when conflict hits.
# Know When to Walk Away for GoodIf you’re always at war, always triggered, and acting in ways you never have before, ask yourself: Is this healthy? Sometimes the bravest choice is to leave a relationship that’s not good for your emotional well-being.