Being nervous about dating is normal, but not when it gets in the way of your happiness. Learn how to get over dating anxiety and get back out there.
As someone who was single and dating for about six years straight, I understand dating anxiety. It is torturous. All you want to do is get out there and meet people, maybe your person, but dating anxiety paralyzes you. You might wonder if it really is possible to learn how to get over dating anxiety.
It makes you cancel dates, forego meeting anyone, and worst of all, it prevents you from taking chances that could truly make you happy.
For years I battled with this anxiety. I was on and off dating apps for four years before meeting anyone because the dating anxiety controlled me.
And the thing is, dating anxiety is very irrational. Sure, there are things about dating that make us nervous and make sense, but the stuff that keeps us from putting ourselves out there is pretty bogus when you think about it.
# Don’t dwellFor years I let myself rot in the aftermath of being ghosted nonstop. I fell victim to the unknowns and frustrations. I would go on and on about how annoying it was and how it made dating impossible.
The thing is, ghosting and rejections by someone you really don’t know too well is not the end of the world. It says more about that person than it does about you. It took a while for me to realize it, but, instead of mourning those potential relationships, I celebrated the fact that I didn’t end up with a person who could be such a coward.
# Have funDating anxiety prevents us from actually having fun on dates. Whether it is working out or not, enjoy it. Modern-day dating seems more like a job or a cruel joke than a fun social outing, but it doesn’t have to be.
If you take it for what it is, you can enjoy dating. It is when you have expectations that the date fails. Whether you expect the best or the worst, dates usually don’t go how you plan. Just going into it and enjoying it for what it is can help you enjoy every date experience without the dating anxiety.
# Try not to overthink
Overthinking leads to anxiety, and anxiety leads to overthinking. Even for someone who has a natural instinct to plan and look at every situation from each angle, overthinking never helps.
Whenever I’ve over-thought about the temperature of a restaurant, if I should look cute or comfy, and if I should have an emergency text ready to send to a friend, it only increased my anxiety.
# Stay open
This was the hardest part for me. As someone who faced so much dating anxiety and knew what my end goal was, it was difficult to stay open to other possibilities. I didn’t want to settle. I knew dating for me was a step towards a relationship.
Going into a date with someone that wasn’t sure what they wanted terrified me. Why risk catching feelings for someone when we may want different things? Well, openness to other possibilities may help you realize what you wanted really wasn’t what you needed.