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- 14 Steps That You Can Take To Handle Your Crush While You Are In A Committed Relationship
14 Steps That You Can Take To Handle Your Crush While You Are In A Committed Relationship
By: Kratika Fri, 22 Jan 2021 6:11 PM
Being attracted to someone else and having a crush on them despite being in a committed relationship is natural. And it can happen to the best of us!
Attraction doesnít care if youíre single or committed. It doesnít care what you look like, how old you are, how many kids you have, or whatís going on in your life. Attraction comes quickly and more often than not, itíll hang around until you banish it.
Itís totally fine to indulge in a crush if youíre single and available but what if youíre in a committed relationship? Unfortunately, commitment doesnít make you blind to that sexy waitress. It doesnít make you oblivious to the fact that the hot web designer canít stop flirting with you. Neither does it make you completely void of feeling when you meet someone and sparks fly.
Iíve had a crush. In fact, Iíve had manyóbut only one whom I got real close to cheating on my partner with. We met at a birthday party and after several hours of stimulating conversation, we exchanged email addresses. Heís a fellow writer and I used that as an excuse to connect with him. He promised me a contact with someone in the publishing world and we both agreed to proofread what each other was working on.
# Enjoy it
Thereís nothing wrong with enjoying the fact that youíve still ìgot it.îù Itís nice knowing that someone besides your partner wants to be with you. Enjoy the moment but be sure to stop there and not take it any further.
# Donít agree to solo meet ups
Your crush may ask you out for a solo meet up or you might feel the itch and want to arrange a one-on-one. Whether itís for a cup of java or a jog in the park, something that may seem harmless at first will escalate into a situation that youíll regret.
# Minimize your time together
If you know that youíre going to see your crush at a party, be friendly but donít spend all night chatting each other up. If you work together, keep it professional and donít dally around the coffee machine waiting for them to show up. Wherever you might see them, be sure to keep a considerable distance between you.
# Keep it civil
As hard as this may be, donít turn on the charm when youíre around your crush. Treat them like everyone else and be sure not to shower them with special treatment. The key is to keep things civil and somewhat cold between you. If you act like thereís nothing between you, then eventually nothing will happen.
# Donít pursue online communication
Itís not a good idea to physically meet up, but what about hanging out online? It may seem harmless, but itís best not to indulge. Trust me when I tell you that one email here, one PM there, one poke here or one like there is never enough. One thing will lead to another and thatís where the problem lies.
# Donít share too much
Be sure not to build an emotional bond with your crush. Never share personal details, especially if it has to do with your relationship. Your crush doesnít need to know that your girlfriend yells at you more often than she should, or that your husband is more concerned about making money than working on your relationship. Once you forge a bond with your crush and lean on them for support, youíve thrown yourself into the deep end.
# Donít tempt fate
Always remember that itís not worth giving in to lust. You may enjoy the butterflies in your stomach. You may miss that feeling of being wooed. You may enjoy receiving newfound attention and affection from someone other than your partner. No matter what, always keep in mind that you shouldnít play with fire unless youíre willing to get burned.
# Keep your distance
If you move in the same social circles as your crush, itís inevitable that youíll run into each other. However, you should try to avoid them where you can. If you run into each other at a party, make the customary rounds, enjoy everyoneís company, then leave early. Donít push your luck because if youíre both still there at the end of the night, youíll end up gravitating towards each otheróeven more so if alcohol is involved.
# Be the bigger person
Although many people think that some things are better left unsaid, I for one believe in absolute honesty, especially in situations such as these. As hard as this may be, let your crush know that youíre not going to stray from your partner and that youíre not going to indulge in lust. Let them know that youíre only willing to engage them in friendship and nothing more. Once theyíre aware that youíre not willing to give them what they want, they will back off. Hopefully.
# Set them up with a friend
If you canít have your crush, then you might as well let someone else enjoy them. Why not set them up with someone you know? If things work out, your crush will be out of your life and in your acquaintanceís arms in no time. This will give you the chance to focus on your own relationship.
# Ask yourself, 'Whatís the point?'
The next time you find it difficult to decide if you should go for it with your crush, ask yourself what the point is. If the only answer you can come up with revolves around sex and having a saucy time, then you know that what youíre doing is absolutely pointless. The risk is not worth the effort.
# Look at your crush as a warning
There has to be a reason youíre keen on risking your relationship to explore something with your crush. Maybe itís because your partner isnít giving you what you want. Maybe itís because youíre unhappy in your relationship. No matter your reasons, you need to address these warning signs. Only once youíve exhausted all efforts to save your relationship should you even consider forging a bond with your crush. Even then, be sure that youíre single before doing anything.
# Tell someone close to you
If all else fails and you think you canít control yourself around your crush, itís time for you to come clean with your partner. Have a serious discussion with them and let them know whatís going on. Trust me when I say that your sweetheart will keep you in check. Of course, this all depends on how understanding your partner is. If you know that they are going to flip out *and rightfully so* to the point of no return, it may be better to keep it to yourself. Approach your best friend or a confidante instead.
# Hideù them
Be sure to ìhideîù your crushónot literally, but on social media. The saying ìout of sight, out of mindîù comes into play here. When youíre not constantly inundated with your crushís pictures, status updates, tweets or anything else, thereís a good chance that it will be easier for you to get over them. Thereís nothing worse than waking up in the morning and being greeted by your crushís bed head selfie. Itíll needlessly remind you of them and we both know how hard it is to get your crush out of your head.