6 Tips On How To Successfully Work Through A Long Distance Relationship

Though not all long distance relationships are the same, people in them would agree that there are things you must do to stand the test of distance.

Relationships are rarely a straight road that both individuals can follow in perfect unison. After all, our lives can be divided up into so many areas that demand our attention: our health, our families, our career, and so forth.

Often, one of these demands may cause a fork in the road, separating a couple on their relationship course temporarily, whilst a separate life mission is pursued.

Three years into my own relationship, my partner and I met a fork in the road. It was time for him to pursue his career further afield, before we could advance our relationship to the next level. For two years now, we have been spending weekdays apart and reconnecting at the weekends. It's a bittersweet arrangement.

Pursuing his career will only lead to a better life for us both in the future, but it is hard to look past that when you are feeling alone on a Tuesday night with only a king-sized bag of Maltesers to console you. And to think some couples are separated for many more than five days at a time!

The further down the road we travel, the more I realize that although this isn't the ideal arrangement, our relationship will benefit from it in the future. There are certain relationship lessons and habits that we are learning together that can only translate positively when our roads reconnect in the future. They are lessons that I believe every couple could benefit from, whether they're apart for a year, a month, a week, a day or are never apart at all, for better lives as both individuals and in a relationship.

# Allow yourselves time to explore your own individual interests

After being used to spending your time together as a couple a decent proportion of your time, it may seem strange that a large segment of your week is now spent as an individual as opposed to as a pair. The choices you make in terms of how you spend your time differ so greatly when alone. There's nothing like going through life as a team, having a support system with someone by your side, but this is not to say you should not take advantage of your time as an individual.

Although you are not truly separating your lives when you are apart, and it is quite important for your relationship that this is not the case, you are in a situation where the choices you make are now completely free from compromise.

Depending on how long you have spent being in a relationship, this may be out of your comfort zone at first. Use the time to do things you might not be inclined to do as a couple. This may be focusing on your career, so that when it's time to settle down, you can step back and focus time on life with your partner. You may also want to reconnect with friends whom you haven't been able to make time for previously.

# Discover more ways to connect and communicate

How do you communicate with your partner when you are apart? Text, e-mail, instant messenger, facetime? As a couple, my boyfriend and I never really used to talk on the phone, other than a quick do you need anything from the shop? or I'll be there in 5 minutes,î because nine times out of ten, it's easier to send a quick text. Since being apart, we've had some of our most heartfelt and soul searching conversations over the phone, and we are closer for it. This is purely due to the fact that, not only do we miss each other but, by definition, talking on the phone is time for talking and nothing else.

Ask yourself: when you are together as a couple, how much time do you spend communicating? Yes, you're together, but how much quality conversation are you having? Do we need to fill time together with films, television and other distractions? Why shouldn't we make more time for one to one communication in relationships?

Furthermore, just because we are in the age of technology, why abandon the first and possibly one of the most romantic forms of communication: the love letter? It can be heartfelt words of love, or simply wishing your partner a good week. In an age of instant communication, a letter is always an unexpected and romantic gesture.

# Be appreciative of your partner

This seems like such obvious advice, but it's strange how often we forget these simple things. As a couple spending time together, you can often indirectly start to annoy each other, or little character traits appear that you never seemed to notice before. You inadvertently start taking the other for granted, and the things you found so special and so attractive are pushed to the back of your brain. But absence really does make the heart grow fonder. When you are forced to spend time apart from your partner, the times you reconnect are like revisiting your honeymoon period.'

But why do you have to spend time apart to learn to re-appreciate your partner? After all, they are still the same person, and those special traits are still there! It's you who has forgotten about them or filed them under the norm.'

Next time you are with your partner, whether it be after a day at work or after a week apart, look for those unique features which set them apart from the rest. Why are you choosing to spend your life with this person? Because they showed you something that others didn't, and what's more, they chose you too! That's pretty special.

# Be appreciative of the time you spend together

After spending time apart, even sitting and watching television together feels special. Every moment is precious and you learn not to take it for granted. It is important to make every moment count, even the boring bits.' After all, we often seem to forget how big a deal it is that not only are you committed to spending time with this one person, but they also want to invest their time in being with you.

Give each other a return on that investment by making that time as pleasant as it can possibly be, even if you're not doing anything special at all.

# Show an interest in each other's daily lives

It's strange how much more you are inclined to ask questions and inquire about your partner's daily life after being apart five or more days at a time, even the little things like their daily commute or what they had for lunch.

When you spend every moment together, you often neglect to ask about the smaller things in your partner's daily life because you feel like a part of it. But, just as we have learnt to embrace our own individuality in a relationship, it is important to respect and show interest in your partner's individual life as well. You may instinctively rely on your partner to tell you the highlights of their day, but there's nothing like the feeling of a loved one inquiring about these simple things before you even think to tell them.

# Plan your time together

Go on dates together or make a trip! It's all about cherishing the time that you have together and making it as special as it can be. This isn't to say that you have to plan an elaborate outing every time you see each other, but its helpful to have something to look forward to whilst you are apart.

Furthermore, it's also important to not be selfish with the time you do have together, after all, your partner may be leaving others behind as well! Accept that they need time to spend with friends and family, and they will appreciate you more for it. Why not plan to involve yourself with others who require your partner's time, even if it puts you out of your comfort zone. If you share the time you have, it will save arguments and resentment.