10 Big Signs People Use You

In a perfect world, everyone we meet would be genuine, kind-hearted, and have our best interests at heart. But reality often tells a different story. Ever caught yourself wondering, “How do I deal with people who use me?” You’re definitely not alone. It’s almost an unwritten rule of life that sooner or later, we’ll cross paths with people who are more about taking than giving. Too often, we find ourselves at the mercy of others’ selfish motives and unfair actions.

Let’s be honest — humanity is a mixed bag. There are the good ones, the bad ones, and plenty who are just figuring life out. Perfection isn’t the goal, and that’s fine. But what’s not fine is constantly feeling like you’re the one getting shortchanged in your relationships.

Whether it’s a friend who only takes and never gives, a partner who drains your energy, or a coworker who thrives on your hard work, most of us have been there.

If you’re unsure whether someone is using you, don’t worry — you’re not the only one. Below are some clear signs that whisper (or scream), “This person might be using you!” Let’s break them down so you can spot the red flags early.

# They’re Only Around When Things Are Good

Ever notice that your “friend” appears only when you’ve got something fun to offer — like tickets to a concert or a weekend getaway? Classic user behavior.
A little sunshine in life is great, but fair-weather friends who show up only when skies are clear? No, thank you.

# Your Needs Always Come Last

If your needs constantly take a backseat to theirs, that’s a glaring red flag. Healthy relationships are about mutual happiness — not one-sided wins.
For example, if you’ve had a rough day but your friend brushes it off to talk about their own issues again, it’s a clear sign of imbalance. When this becomes a pattern, it means the relationship revolves around their comfort, not shared care.

# They Never Say “Thank You”

Gratitude is a cornerstone of any relationship. People who use others often skip this step because they feel entitled to your time, help, or resources.

# They Use Guilt as a Weapon

If someone repeatedly guilt-trips you into doing things for them, it’s manipulation — plain and simple. They’re prioritizing their wants over your well-being. Guilt is their favorite tool for control, subtly pushing you to do what benefits them.

# Their Charm Appears Right Before a Favor

Watch out for the charm offensive — when someone suddenly becomes extra nice or flattering right before asking for something. That “sweet talk” is often just a down payment on what they want from you.

# They’re More Interested in Your Wallet Than You

If your money or what you can offer is their main attraction, that’s a huge warning sign. When every hangout revolves around you footing the bill or providing something of value, it’s clear they’re invested in your resources, not your company.

# They Only Reach Out When They Need Something

If the only time they message or call is when they need a favor, that’s not friendship — that’s convenience. Real relationships thrive on genuine connection, not transactions.

# They Talk About You, Not To You

Users love controlling the narrative. Instead of addressing issues directly, they talk about you behind your back — often twisting stories to serve their own agenda. This damages not only your trust in them but also your reputation with others.

# They Make Big Promises, But Never Deliver

They’ll promise you the moon to keep you hooked, but when it’s time to follow through — they disappear. Their promises aren’t about commitment; they’re about control, designed to keep you hopeful and compliant.

# They Vanish When You’re Struggling

When life gets tough, users get scarce. They’re nowhere to be found when you need support — unless there’s something in it for them. Their loyalty is conditional, tied to their own gain, not genuine care.