10 Decisions Your Partner Cannot Make For You

There are a lot of things that couples decide together. Most of it revolves around living arrangements and relationship issues.

Some things, however, should be decided on individually. These are the decisions that affect you or your body more than your partner.

Sometimes, we have to think more about ourselves than the ones we love. I know it’s hard to swallow, but sometimes prioritizing your needs can work out best for everyone involved.

# Using birth control

This is one of the biggest issues that couples face today. There is a lot of pressure placed on using birth control. Studies show that oral contraception is risky, while statistics show that men *in relationships* are not happy about using condoms. Using birth control is an individual’s right. This is something that should not be dictated by your partner. Whether you want to use it or not isn’t the issue; the problem is when your partner takes away those choices from you.

# Having kids

This is an even bigger issue, because having a child is no easy or simple feat. It affects both of you, which means that there can be no compromise on the matter. Some people don’t want kids because they’re not ready yet, or they can never resolve themselves to the idea. Some want kids so badly, they’d do anything to conceive. Unfortunately, no matter how much you want a child, your partner has to agree with you.

# Which career you should choose

Some couples think that it’s okay to influence their partner’s choice of career, but that shouldn’t be the case. A person chooses a career for different reasons, but whether it’s about money, passion, or convenience, the person who’s going to work should always be the one to decide. A partner’s role is to be there to guide and support them.

# Whether or not to accept a promotion

Promotions can mean a lot of things, like longer work hours, traveling out of town, or even getting relocated permanently. It can drastically affect your relationship dynamic, but only one person can determine whether the sacrifice is worth it or not. Relationships usually come out as the top priority, but looking at the bigger picture can change that.

# Getting body modifications

Whether it’s a tattoo, plastic surgery, or even a tiny piercing, the choice to make a permanent change on your body is yours alone. Your partner can give their input and make their case against it, but it’s your decision, in the end. Remember: it’s your body.

# What to spend your money on

If you are married without a prenup, you are legally sharing each other’s money. But you still earned part of that share, and you have the right to spend it on whatever you want. Even if you aren’t married, you and your partner may have decided to share your expenses, which means they have a say in what you spend together. Still, once you’ve set aside your share, you can do whatever you want with the money left. You can ask your partner for advice on how to spend it, but it’s ultimately your decision.

# Who you should be friends with

If your friendships aren’t affecting your relationship, there is no need for your partner to choose your friends for you. The only time they’re allowed to step in is when your friends are taking advantage of you or hurting you. Apart from that, they cannot decide who you should be friends with, based on social status or appearances. If they simply don’t like your friends, you can always engage with them separately.

# When to have sex

If you and your partner agreed to have a sexual relationship, it’s understandable that they would want to do it regularly. Sometimes, however, you won’t want to have sex and your partner should accept that. Forcing, manipulating, or guilting you into having sex is tantamount to rape.

It’s your body, and you have the right to decide how and when to use it. If the frequency of sex *whether it’s too often or too infrequent* is raising alarm bells, you should discuss this with your partner.

# When to get married

Although some people might claim that getting married isn’t such a big deal, it still is for a lot of people. You are legally binding yourself to one person for the rest of your life *or until a judge allows you to separate*. It is not a decision that should be taken lightly, which means that you and your partner must decide on it separately, before you can agree to it together.

# When to say “I love you.”

It seems like an unimportant issue, but it has a heavy connotation. Love should not be taken lightly. It is a huge emotional investment, and you can’t force your partner to say it, especially when they’re not sure yet. Your partner obviously likes you, but it takes time for some people to fall in love. When the feeling arrives, your partner will say those three words. If that moment never comes, you must be mature enough to respect it or be self-aware enough to accept that it’s not going to happen.