10 Things You Can Do When Something Feels Off In A Relationship

Just as time brings both challenges and surprises, relationships too ebb and flow with highs and lows. If you find yourself thinking, “Something feels off in my relationship,” you might be going through one of those low points. The real question is how should you respond?

When a relationship feels off, our intuition often signals that something needs to change. It can feel like you’re stuck, with the thought “Something’s missing in my relationship” echoing in your mind.

The key question becomes: should the change come from within you, or from external circumstances?

In his book “How Can I Get Through to You,” therapist Terrence Real outlines three core phases of a relationship: harmony and promise, disillusionment, and either repair or deep love. These phases can span years or unfold over the course of a single evening.

When you're thinking, “Something doesn’t feel right between us,” it may reflect a deeper disconnect—where intimacy has faded, or communication has broken down to the point that neither of you truly understands the other.

Of course, sometimes there are clear signs that something isn’t right. While no relationship is perfect, these moments can be valuable opportunities to reflect, grow, and better understand both yourself and your partner.

As you explore the following 10 signs, consider how you and your partner might work together collaborating, not just coping to move through disillusionment and toward a deeper, more meaningful connection.

# Tune Into Your Gut Instincts

If you’ve been thinking, “Something feels off in my relationship,” but can’t quite put your finger on it, trust that feeling. Your intuition often picks up on misalignment before your mind does—it’s your body’s way of signaling that something needs to shift.
Pause, listen, and reflect. Consider how your actions may be influencing the dynamic. This doesn’t imply your partner is without flaws—it simply means you're focusing on the one thing you can truly change: yourself.

# Explore Your Fears

Sometimes when a relationship feels off, it’s fueled by internal fears—perhaps guilt over not giving enough time to your partner or a deeper worry that they’re drifting away.
If they seem to confide in others more than in you, it’s not necessarily a lost cause. Rekindling the connection can start with meaningful conversations and quality time spent together reminding both of you of what brought you close in the first place.

# Reconnect With Your Core Values

If you’re stuck on the thought, “Something is missing in my relationship,” consider whether stress or routine has pulled you away from what matters.
Maybe your job drains you, or you’ve lost touch with friends and passions. Make a list of your core values and discuss them with your partner. Realigning your life with what you both cherish can bring back a sense of purpose—and connection.

# Nurture the Connection

Wondering, “Why does my relationship feel off?” The answer might be simple: you’ve started taking each other for granted.
Plan special date nights, share what you appreciate about each other, and revisit your relationship goals. Small acts of love and intentional connection can reignite your bond.

# Start the Conversation

One of the most powerful steps when something feels off is simply to talk about it.
Disconnection and conflict aren’t inherently harmful—what matters is how you both navigate them. Open communication can turn discomfort into an opportunity for growth.

# Reflect on Your Role

When you feel like something is missing, it’s easy to look outward at your partner, circumstances, or the relationship itself. But it’s equally important to look within.
Are your goals aligned? Are you contributing to the connection you want to experience? Consider what you can offer to create space for mutual change and growth.

# Take Small Steps Toward Change

Listening to your gut and distinguishing between instinct and fear is key. As Harvard Business Review suggests, trusting your gut can lead to smarter decisions.
Small changes—like spending ten extra minutes talking to your partner or tweaking your weekend routine—can make a meaningful difference and bring you closer together.

# Reclaim Balance in Your Life

It’s easy to lose yourself in a relationship, especially in the early stages when everything revolves around your partner.
Ask yourself: are you still making space for your hobbies, friendships, and family? Rebalancing your life gives you the strength and perspective to show up more fully in your relationship.

# Honor Your Emotions

If you're caught in the loop of “Something doesn’t feel right in my relationship,” difficult emotions may follow—guilt, shame, or frustration.
Remember, you’re not alone. Many people experience this. Be kind to yourself, allow those emotions to exist, and you’ll find they begin to lose their hold over you.

# Revisit Your Relationship Goals

When things feel off, it’s a good time to check whether your goals still align as a couple.
Are both your individual needs and shared goals being met? Reflecting together can help you adjust course and move forward with clarity and intention.