5 Major Truths About Your First Year Of Marriage

People are not shy about giving marriage advice. Whether they’ve married themselves or not, they’re all about what it’s going to be like and the struggles you’re going to face. For a newly engaged couple, it’s enough to put them off! It’s true that the first year of marriage is probably going to be an adjustment period but is it really that different from the relationship you’ve had with your partner so far?

You’ll either be told that your first year as newlyweds is going to be amazing or it’s going to be packed with challenges.

Why such polar opinions? It all comes down to perception. Sure, marriage is a big change, but life is not going to drastically change when you wake up on your first morning as a married couple.

# Marriage doesn’t change your relationship

One of the reasons many relationships snowball down the bunny hill after marriage is down to one word—change. Or should we say, the lack thereof?

After getting married, some men think women become clean, caring, and domestic. Conversely, some women feel like men will become romantic, protective, and emotionally available. Even if none of these personality traits existed in the relationship prior to tying the knot!

Let’s get one thing perfectly clear: getting married doesn’t change your partner.

Any problems you had pre-marriage still exist after you get the marriage license. Even if your partner does mature and grows these qualities over time, it certainly isn’t going to happen on the honeymoon.

So when you decide to settle down with someone, you best be damn sure you like them exactly as they are.

# Marriage doesn’t mean the end of your sex life

Always remember these words – your sex life can only be what *you* make of it. In our experience, marriage is the opposite of sexless. Way, way opposite, especially in the first year of marriage.

Regular sex as a married couple is an absolute must, not only because orgasms are fantastic, but because it bonds you as a unit. *Um, and did we mention the orgasms?*

Differing factors affect your desire to get down and do the dirty with your mate after marriage. Pregnancy, children, financial stresses, living situations, and weight gain are all common reasons, but if something is a priority you’ll make time for it.

Your first year of marriage should be full of wild sex. If that stops, it’s because you stopped making time to bond between the sheets a priority, not because you got married.

# Money troubles are a thing

Money troubles are definitely not a rumor in the first year of marriage circles. If you haven’t lived together prior to getting married, merging your finances can be a bit awkward.

The key? Be completely open with one another about your financial situation before you march down the aisle.

Be clear about exactly how much each of you makes, as well as what your bills are going to cost. Decide beforehand whether you will share a bank account or if each will take care of their own share of bills.

Talking about money is icky, especially if you don’t make as much as your mate, but it doesn’t have to be awkward! Just be open and honest, always.

# Learn how to fight fair

As a married couple, you can’t storm out of the house after an argument and stomp your way home. You are home! That’s the thing about taking someone as your lawfully wedded partner you live with them. Forever. Therefore, learning how to fight fair is going to save you a lot of grief in your marriage.

Here’s some solid advice about clipping your claws in the first year of marriage:

1. Argue with the intention of solving your issues

2. Never go to bed angry [Read: How to calm down when you’re angry and regain your composure quickly]

3. Come to understand that most fights aren’t worth having

# Never use the silent treatment

A relationship that doesn’t have disagreements is not a real relationship. Every couple argues, and for married couples airing out your issues can be therapeutic. You just need to make sure your conversation is a disagreement, not a fight.

The difference? Disagreements involve calm explanations of the problem at hand and sharing your feelings on the matter in a mutually respectful manner. An argument is just a 50/50 mix of yelling and being mean.

# You can still have alone time when you live with someone

One of the weirdest parts of being married is realizing you never have downtime from one another. Before marriage, you had hot sexual tension, long date nights, and endless hours of talking or texting on the phone. Then you headed home and played video games or waxed the hair on your lip that he ‘so doesn’t know about’ and do all that nerdy single stuff you’d never want your mate to see.

Now you live with them. How do you split up your time? Make this conversation a priority.

As important as it is to have regular date nights and sexy-time together, it’s equally as important that you still feel like you can have time to yourself while under the same roof. Make it super easy by scheduling your faux single-self activities on the same night.