5 Reasons Kids Tantrums Are Actually Good

Toddler tantrums are one of the most challenging aspects of parenting. We tend to feel like good parents when our toddlers are smiley and at ease, but can feel helpless and overwhelmed when they are lying on the floor kicking and screaming. However, believe it or not, toddler tantrums are an important part of our child's emotional health and well-being, and we can learn to be calmer in the face of them. Here are 5 important reasons why your toddler's tantrum is actually a good thing.

# Better out than in

Tears contain cortisol, the stress hormone. When we cry, we are literally releasing stress from our bodies. Tears have also been found to lower blood pressure and improve emotional well-being, provided there's a loved one close for support. You may have noticed that when your toddler is on the brink of a tantrum, nothing is right. She is angry, frustrated, or whining.

# Crying may help your child learn

A few years ago I was working as a babysitter for a 5-year-old. He was building with some Legos and started having a tantrum because he got stuck. However, after having the tantrum, he sat down and fixed the Lego structure. I've seen many moments like this, where a child is struggling and expressing their frustration helps them to clear their minds so they can learn something new.

# Your child may sleep better

Sleep problems often occur because we parents think the best approach to tantrums and upsets is to try to avoid them. Then, a child's pent-up emotions bubble up when his brain is at rest. Just like adults, children also wake because they're stressed or trying to process something that's happening in their lives. Allowing your child to get to the end of her tantrum improves her emotional well-being and may help her sleep through the night.

# You said 'no,' and that's a good thing

Chances are the tantrum your toddler is having is because you said 'no.' And that's a good thing! Saying 'no' gives your child clear boundaries about acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Sometimes we may avoid saying 'no' because we don't want to deal with the emotional fallout, but we can stand firm with our limits while still offering, love, empathy, and hugs. Saying 'no' means you aren't afraid of the messy, emotional side of parenting.

# Tantrums bring you closer together

It may be hard to believe at the time, but watch and wait. Your angry child may not look like she apprieciates you being there, but she does. Let her get through the storm of her feelings without trying to stop or 'fix' them. Don't talk too much but offer a few kind, reassuring words. Offer hugs. Your child will soak up your unconditional acceptance and feel closer to you afterwards.