5 Tips To Break Up With Your Live In Partner
By: Neha Sun, 22 Jan 2023 10:19:11
When you live with someone, it’s only natural to be deeply invested in them. Spending time doing the things you love, having built so many memories in the process, putting in the effort to build a home that reflects you as a couple – there is so much that goes into sharing your space with a partner. Consequently, the roots run deep. Hence there needs to be a great degree of sensitivity toward each other’s feelings when ending such a relationship.
Irrespective of whether you’re the one who wants to end things or your partner, this breakup conversation won’t be easy. The split becomes even harder if you’re leaving someone you love and live with but, owing to certain compelling reasons, may decide that you’re better off without each other. Perhaps, the relationship is not healthy or your partner isn’t good for you. Maybe, your life goals have diverged so dramatically that you don’t see yourself sharing a life with your SO anymore.
# Be sure that you want to move out
And we mean, 100% sure, because this decision is going to completely change the way your daily life looks. This is not the kind of decision you can take in a fit. Let your decision to end the relationship not be based on one fight or a bout of anger where you decide to move out or ask your partner to leave. Think it through, before you make any rash remarks. This is not merely a bad date you are walking out of. You are thinking of breaking up with someone you live with and you have loved for so long. This person was supposed to be ‘the one’ and you were supposed to be theirs. There are going to be huge repercussions of your decision and some practicalities of the split have to be sorted out.
# Communicate and hint at the breakup
Before you take a final call, have the difficult conversation hinting at what’s likely to come. Think of this as your exit strategy. It is perfectly okay for you to consider taking a break in the relationship when you live together. A number of married couples do go through trial separations and you can do the same with your live-in partner.
Use kind words when you do have the conversation and break up with your partner. Set your boundaries well too, and express them clearly in your communication with them. Be as respectful as you can be to prevent things from going awry. Let the other person know what you are feeling and why you are choosing to do this. Do not leave room for speculation, keep it simple and clear.
# How to break up with someone you live with? List out what you need to take care of
Ending a relationship with someone you live with is not just about saying it’s over, packing your bags, and storming out. After a breakup conversation, you need to have an exit plan ready. If you are the one calling it off and have to move out, have a place to go to. Confide in a trusted friend who you can rely on to get through this difficult phase.
Remember, your partner has been your support system for a very long time. Now that you are not talking to them anymore, you will certainly feel the urge to run back to them. That’s where your perfect exit strategy comes in handy. Have a place to go to, and have lots of friends surround you in this tough time.
# Be prepared for hostile reactions from your partner
When you are deciding on how to break up with someone you live with, factor in their reactions. If they have no clue about what’s on your mind, they might be hostile or even act difficult. Once you have accepted that you need to break up, a part of you will automatically be prepared for these reactions. Understand that your partner’s agitation is a natural reaction, as they are now losing a crucial support system of their life. They might even overreact or show arrogance. You should try to continue to be resolute that this breakup is indeed what you want and stay calm irrespective of their reaction. Give them time and space to tame their temper so you two can talk rationally.
# Don’t drag your friends into it
When trying to figure out how to break up with someone who lives with you, you need to factor in the impact on your social life. Whatever the duration of your relationship, owing to your living arrangements, you’re bound to have mutual friends. Once you decide to end the relationship, the situation can get really awkward for them. They may not know who to talk to, and what kind of relationship advice or information to even share with you two.