6 Myths You Should Not Believe About Long Distance Relationship
By: Kratika Wed, 06 Apr 2022 12:18 PM
As with anything in life, it’s sometimes a little too easy to focus exclusively upon the negatives of a situation. This is especially the case when everyone around you is trying to push you into that train of thought. But often, the way to defeat this way of thinking is to turn it on its head turn a negative into a positive, so to speak.
I recall listening to a speech by a Theravada Buddhist monk once upon this very subject, and how he was visited by two sisters: one who was unhappy with her husband, the other who was sad about being single. Resisting the urge to tell them the first solution that sprang to mind *this was a monk with a sense of humor!*, he pointed out that if they exchanged what they had for what they wanted, then they would only end up suffering a different set of issues–exactly that which the other sister had.
In essence, then, instead of focusing upon the negatives, he was instructing them to seek the positives in their present situations, so they could find happiness. Well, the exact same principle is true of the long-distance relationship.
# Snail mail
One of the first things that people get wrong about LDRs is how difficult it is to communicate. I have one word for this: poppycock! Technology has never favored the LDR to anywhere near the same extent as in the present day.
With email, social media, reasonable international telephone charges, webcams, etc., there’s no difference in the amount you can communicate with a loved one, whether living in the same house, at the other side of the country, or on a different continent. Snail mail is well and truly a thing of the past!
# Perfect strangers
The next criminally ignorant misunderstanding of LDRs is that you’ll never truly get to know your partner, being so estranged from them. Well actually, being forced to use long distance methods of communication can mean that you get to know them better than you would face to face.
The reason for this? You’ll have more time to think about what you’re saying, more importance allocated to the words said due to the greater value placed upon time in communication, and the lack of sudden sweaty whirlpools of passion overriding conversation with a torrid half hour spent in grunting sensuality!
# Doing your own thing
The doom mongers will have it said that your relationship across borders won’t work out because you won’t share your day-to-day lives in the same way that normal couples do. However, if you think about it, it’s hard to work out what their argument actually is.
All of those shared bills, shopping, childcare, and daily tasks get carved up and doled out, so that you eventually end up spending more than you normally would to survive in the real world. At least with a long distance relationship, you preserve your independence, as well as your financial security.
# Worlds apart
You could be, potentially, and the doom mongers will repeatedly tell you that you can’t have a successful relationship living so physically distant from each other. However, it might be prudent at such a point to throw a few old proverbs into the mix: absence makes heart grow fonder, and familiarity breeds contempt–take your pick.
# All tied up
Another thing people frequently get wrong about LDRs is that these relationships won’t allow you to build proper ties with your partner. You won’t get to know friends, family, or other social groups that partially define who they are.
However, that could seem like a major positive to many people. Not having the responsibility of meeting the future in-laws regularly or having to hang around with those weirdos they call friends–both are an absolute bonus in my book.
# The trust factor
You’re always going to worry about them seeing other people behind your back, some spiteful little mouths will tell you, and you may naturally worry about this from time to time, depending upon your personality. But look, if you can get through that kind of situation without any serious issues of mistrust, then you know you’ve got a relationship worth keeping–and it will be all the stronger for it.