- Mates & Me›
- 7 Signs You Are Single In A Relationship
7 Signs You Are Single In A Relationship
By: Kratika Fri, 27 Jan 2023 3:13:15
The thing is, there’s no one clear way to gauge whether or not you’re single in a relationship. It’s all kinds of sneaky elements that come together and hopefully make you realize that you’re essentially single but in a relationship.
You don’t get to actually be single i.e. go out and flirt with strangers at the bar and live life as per your choices and routine. Oh no, you still do the relationship stuff like making reservations for two at restaurants, movies etc. You still have to keep their dentist’s appointment in mind and remind them. And if they’re in the mood, you occasionally engage in physical intimacy but you’re pondering the difference between sex and making love.
# It’s always you taking initiative
Listen, I’m all for taking initiative, in the bedroom or out of it! But that’s not what we’re talking about here. There’s a difference between being a strong, opinionated person and constantly shouldering all the heavy lifting in a relationship, whether it’s emotional or physical, which is definitely a relationship red flag.
Think about it. Are you the one always making plans? Suggesting you go out, take a vacation, hold hands while walking? Is it always you trying to make the relationship work, figuring out ways to be together, to give your intimacy a boost? And your supposed partner may or may not go along with it, depending on their mood.
# Everything is done as per their convenience
Now, everyone has their own particular routine and in a healthy relationship, both parties make adjustments and compromises as and when needed. If you’re single in a relationship, though, you’ll soon find that it’s you who’s always having to adjust your schedule and make compromises, all because your so-called partner cannot be inconvenienced at any cost.
It’s near impossible to attain perfect balance in any relationship, of course. There will always be a tip in the scales. One partner may compromise a little more than the other in certain circumstances but these roles are also reserved depending on the headspace each partner is in. However, if this is just how your relationship at any given time, with your compromise scale tipping over, we hate to break it to you, this is what being single in a relationship feels like.
# They are rarely available when you need them
If you find yourself constantly wondering, “Why do I feel single in my relationship?”, you may want to take a good look at your relationship to see if they are there for you at least as much as you’re there for him. A classic sign of being single in a relationship is that while you’re always physically and emotionally present when they need you, they have no qualms about leaving you in the lurch when you need them.
# There are very few things you share
We’re not just talking about sharing the remote on a Saturday night or sharing ice cream while walking in the park, although if they’re antsy about sharing the remote, I’d recommend getting rid of them immediately. But, more than that, more than hobbies and shared interests, look at the intimate, integral things you share, or not.
When you’re single but in a relationship, you’ll soon realize that things like relationship responsibilities fall squarely on you. Responsibilities could mean anything from sharing household chores to making the effort to keep your relationship afloat to ensuring you get your share of pleasure during physical intimacy.
# You’re always second-guessing yourself
When you’re single in a relationship, you’ll soon find yourself losing confidence in your ability to make choices and decisions for yourself. So much of our self-esteem is tied up in how lovable or desirable we think we are to others and a one-sided relationship will always leave you doubting yourself.
If you’re sad and lonely in a relationship all the time, second-guessing every choice you’re making, both for your own life and your relationship, know that this probably isn’t you. Maybe it’s time to take stock of these relationship doubts and see if they’re sapping you of your strength and confidence. And if your answer to that is ‘yes,’ it’s time to get out and never look back.
# They are unwilling to commit
It’s time to talk about commitment-phobes and their ‘contribution’ to one-sided relationships. Now, it’s one thing if you’re in a no-strings-attached relationship and you’re both on the same page about the rules. But quite another if you’re someone who wants a committed relationship and you’re with someone who simply won’t commit or worse, is vague about where they stand.
# You feel insecure all the time
When you’re insecure in a relationship, you’re overwhelmed with a sense of dread at all times. Where is this going? Are you really as special to them as they are to you? Why do they always look cagey when you tell them you love them or try to hold their hand in public? These are questions that will plague you at all times when you’re single in a relationship.
Being single in a relationship means your sense of security is slowly but surely stripped away. You’ll always be wondering where you stand with them, whether you’re good enough. You’ll obsessively analyze every text message, looking for hidden meanings. Who needs this level of drama? Not you.