9 Things That Happen When You Are Stuck As Friends With Benefits
By: Kratika Sun, 08 May 2022 1:17 PM
Beer without alcohol, Coca-Cola without sugar, and a relationship without obligations. Do those things taste the same as alcoholic beer, sugary coke, and an obligation-filled relationship? Based on their personality types, preferences, and previous experiences, some people choose to be in a relationship that is strictly sexual. It’s about having more fun and less drama. Sex without love is an extreme sport, and there’s not a single game in which your heart should get any points.
One type of casual relationship that has become very popular over the last decade is an arrangement called “friends with benefits.” A friend with benefits is not a friend who gives you money. It is not a friend who buys you presents and takes you out to dinner. It is a friend who offers you sex… emotionless but phenomenal sex.
# Lightheadedness turns into a headache
The initial thrill of no-strings-attached sex eventually wears off, and you start to think about what’s missing in your life. When the idea of needing something more in a relationship starts weighing you down, you start to wonder if your friend with benefits can become a potential mate due to the strong foundation of your friendship, or if you’re better off with a clean slate and someone new.
# You want to talk about being something more, but you can’t
All cards should be on the table, but when the uncomfortable topic is out there, you want to hide under the table. It is crucial to stay honest. Still, sometimes it seems like there is a Bermuda Triangle between your heart, your brain, and your mouth. You have the words and intentions, but you’re afraid of pushing your partner away.
# There is a constant danger of crossing settled boundaries
In a perfect world, having sex with your friend would be like travelling to another country: it is new territory, there are some boundaries and rules you need to respect, but once you come back home, you have no obligations toward the foreign country. But this is not a perfect world, and your friend is not a foreigner. Even though you are willing to accept the distance, you may have brought your emotional passport with you.
# You are thirsty for drunk texting
Where do you see yourself after ten vodka shots? If you see yourself writing out an emotional novella of a text, detailing all your pent up feelings, curb the urge to send it! It’s bad enough to not be sure of where you stand in your relationship, but it’s even worse if you’re both lost and drunk. Sober up, think it over, and ask yourself if it’s the right time to have an “exclusivity” conversation.
# Whatever the occasion, the only gift you’ll be getting is an orgasm
It could be the anniversary of the first time you hopped into bed together, or it might even be your birthday. But in place of a romantic date or a thoughtful gift, you get a tumble between the sheets that culminates in a shared climax. It’s hard to complain in the post-sex haze, but the emptiness of emotionless sex can start to feel stifling.
# It’s awkward when you have to act like you don’t have “benefits” in your friendship
You might hang out with the same group of people, and some of them might not fully understand your relationship. You can be sitting across from each other, imagining each other naked, but you can’t get cozy with one another due to the lack of romance in your arrangement and its secretive nature.
# You would love to spoon, but they never sleep over
In a parallel universe, you’d be sleeping parallel to each other. In this universe, you are daydreaming about them sleeping next to you, but you wake up alone and missing your big spoon. There may be times when you end up spooning *albeit accidentally*, but those times feel few and far between.
# You miss hugging and cuddling
In the world of casual relationships and emotionless sex, cuddling is akin to trying to cross the line from friends to partners. As great as the sex is, it’s easy to miss the intimacy of holding each other without the need to take your clothes off.
# You forget you are actually single
When you have a friend with benefits, you miss some signals from other singles around you. Your mind is wrapped up in the security of always having someone you know you can sleep with, but the promise of sex blinds you to the promise of something more from someone else.