5 Tips To Be A Positive Parent
By: Pinki Sat, 09 May 2020 10:14:38
Whether you are the parent of a baby or a teenager, we can all agree that parenting is a challenge! It can be wonderful one day and then exhausting, stressful and overwhelming the next. We are always searching for ways to change our child's behavior; to make our children fit into a mold that works for us. However, this method rarely works and we are faced with crying babies, tantrumming toddlers, and sassy teenagers. What if we stopped trying to change our kids and instead, changed ourselves? What if we changed our parenting styles and parenting philosophies? What if we chose to view parenting through rose-colored glasses? What if we decided not to take everything so seriously?
We can adjust our thoughts and feelings about the struggles of parenting and become calmer and more positive parents. In making a few small changes, we'll actually enjoy our children more, and better yet our child(ren)'s behaviors will follow our lead. Here are a few small changes that will produce a stronger and more positive relationship between you and your child(ren).
* Re-think Your Perception of the Problem
Think of something your child does that drives you crazy or upsets you. Does your toddler's high pitch shriek get under your skin? Does your baby throwing food make you want to yell? First, think about what your child is getting out of this behavior you consider "bad." Is it your attention? Or is it a reaction? A negative reaction from a parent is good enough for a kid who is trying to get any attention. Your angry reaction is only keeping the behavior going.
* Lower Your Expectations
Sometimes we forget that our kids are just kids! Having expectations that are not age-appropriate for your children will only set them up for failure and give them reasons to disappoint you. Do you expect your child to have proper table manners, to sit for long meals or greet all your friends and relatives? Teaching your children these "adult" behaviors and modeling them will encourage your children to do them, but keep your expectations in check, especially if your child has not napped or is hungry.
* Remind Yourself the Phase Will Pass
Can you remember the horrendous first weeks home with a newborn? You were not sleeping, feeding a tiny being every 2 hours. For most parents, that stage felt like it would never end, but it did, and so will each phase. If your 12 hours a night solid sleeper just started waking up at 3 am or your veggie-loving kid will only eat macaroni and cheese, remind yourself that most undesirable behaviors are phases with endings.
* Share the Emotional Responsibility
Do you ask your partner to change the baby's diaper, drop off your son at soccer or help your daughter get on her shoes? Of course! But do you share your emotional responsibilities as a parent? Asking for tangible or physical help is easier for parents. If you are feeling worried about how your kid is in School or simply feeling overwhelmed by all the feelings that come with being a parent, share those with your partner. You don't need to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.
* Connect Instead of Correct
Connecting with your child will make your job as a parent easier because children who feel connected listen better, feel less frustrated and choose positive behaviors. If your child exhibiting bad behavior, first try and connect with your child before addressing the bad behavior. The behavior may be a manifesting of a need for attention, feelings of abandonment or isolation or other yucky feelings.