11 Signs You Are Capable Of Loving Selflessly
By: Kratika Fri, 13 May 2022 2:25 PM
I have struggled my entire life with love. There are times when it feels like loving someone is selfish, and then times when it is selfless. The problem is that you can fade in and out of selfish/selfless love as quickly as you can bat an eye. Sometimes it feels selfish to want love, while other times you feel like you are the only one selfless in love. If it sounds confusing… it is.
The only way that I can define selfless love is when you are in it for the long haul. Whether it hurts, is painful, or you get nothing out of it for yourself, loving someone selflessly means that you make decisions based not on what you want, but what is best for the one you love.
Having children is a very difficult type of selfless love. From the moment that baby is placed in your arms, you are required to have selfless love and are tested at every turn. When it comes to people who aren’t related, or dependent on you, selfless love is a little more difficult and confusing.
# You care more about the well being of someone more than yourself
There are times when selfless love involves caring more about their well-being than your own. That might mean that you do something that isn’t self-motivating just because you know that they really need your help.
Learning to put other people’s needs in front of your own is never an easy thing to do. But, to find true love, you have to put your own needs on the back burner sometimes.
# You’re willing to walk away for their benefit
Loving selflessly doesn’t mean that you stay no matter what. There are times when loving someone means that you have to walk away to be selfless.
If staying is doing nothing but creating a worse situation or allowing co-dependence, then to be selfless, you have to stop the toxic relationship you share and know when it is just time to walk away so that they can mature, heal, and stand on their own two feet.
# You don’t ask someone to stay in the relationship if it’s not what they want
Just like a boomerang, sometimes we have to set things free and see if they come back. It is easy to put a guilt trip on someone to make them stay or to make them dependent on you so that you don’t lose them.
But, selfless love sometimes means that you have to turn someone loose and make it okay for them to move on if the relationship isn’t the best thing for you both.
# You put your own ambition to the side
In a relationship, you will have your individual goals and your combined ones. There will be times when you might have to sacrifice your own wants to allow your partner to shine. Being selfless means that you have to take the back seat at times to allow your partner to achieve their dreams and their full potential.
There will be times in your future when you can work on you and focus on your path. Being selfless means holding down the fort at times so your partner can go storm the castle.
# You’re happy to compromise
Being selfless doesn’t always mean that you have to completely give everything up and always give in. Sometimes, being selfless in a relationship is more about learning to compromise and working together to make sure that you’re both getting what you need.
Selflessness doesn’t always have to come at the detriment of your own wants, desires, and needs, but rather a compromise between what you and the person you love both wants.
# You have heavy shoulders
Being selfless means putting yourself aside, and if someone needs you to have heavy shoulders, having them. Not being defensive, or taking things too personally, selfless love means that you empathize with what your loved one is going through, and you put your own feelings aside to be strong when they can’t be.
# You don’t judge
Judging is one of the worst human traits that we possess. Being selfless in love means that you don’t judge what someone is doing. That doesn’t mean that you don’t confront them when you think they are hurting themselves, nor does it mean that you allow bad behavior to continue.
It just means that you don’t put judgment on why someone is behaving the way that they are, you just help alter the behaviors that hurt them in a non-judgmental way.
# You’re happy to give them the benefit of the doubt
Being on someone’s side always and providing unconditional love is sometimes easier said than done.
Even if they have let you down in the past, selfless love is about always giving them the benefit of the doubt and believing that they can rise to the occasion instead of setting up a self-fulfilling prophecy and then sitting back and saying “I knew it.”
# Working as a team – There’s no ‘I’ in team
Selfless love is about being one with someone and not being out for your own goals. Working together is key to selfless love, which means that you aren’t self-serving or always trying to get your way. Working together is the cornerstone of selfless love.
# You change your plans because they need you more
Giving things up is not always an easy thing to do. There are times when you might have to forego things that are very important in your life if someone you love needs you more.
Being able to put the needs of someone else above what is important to you is selfless and an excellent way to show love.