5 Signs That Tell Your Wife Might Change Her Mind About Divorce

When your wife says she wants a divorce, your whole world turns upside down. Given the enormity of the situation, your wife wouldn’t have made the decision to divorce lightly. And so, it can seem futile to hope that she will change her mind and give the marriage a second chance. But it can happen. In fact, a study suggests that half of those thinking about divorce change their mind within a year.

So, second thoughts about divorce are not uncommon at all. Even if your marriage is at a breaking point and your wife has clearly conveyed to you that she wants to separate, wondering, “Will she change her mind about divorce?”, isn’t just wishful thinking. Here are 5 probable reasons why she may choose to stay married and rethink her divorce decision:

# She doesn’t want the family to suffer

“I’m seeing the signs my separated wife wants to reconcile. What could have brought that on?” You may wonder. Well, if you have been married a long time and have kids, her decision to stay married may have nothing to do with the state of your marriage. She may simply not want to put the children through the emotional trauma of watching their family break apart.

Perhaps, she’d prefer that you go to a family therapist or a couple’s counselor for help and see if you can find a way to stay together. Now, whether or not staying in an unhappy marriage for the kids is a wise choice is a discussion for another time. But this could very well be her reason to not get the divorce proceedings rolling.

# Divorce is too costly for her to go through with it

This is also not exactly the most romantic reason why a woman would go back on her decision to divorce you. But it is a legitimate reason and a study shows that 15% of married couples choose to stay separated rather than get officially divorced for this very reason. Hiring professional lawyers, and getting embroiled in a legal battle over the division of assets is financially draining as it is emotionally painful.

Perhaps, your wife doesn’t have the means to foot the expenditure of the divorce process or maybe she just doesn’t consider it worth her while. Staying married may just feel like a more prudent choice than losing everything in securing a divorce.

# She doesn’t want to lose you

Despite all the negative emotions, angry words, fights, and conflicts, your wife is not prepared to lose you. Human relationships, especially long-term relationships such as marriage, are often far too complex and layered to fit into the binaries of ‘successful’ and ‘failed’. If your wife strongly feels that even though you have your share of relationship problems, the love that brought you together hasn’t completely eroded, you may begin to see signs your wife is changing her mind about divorce.

# She feels responsible for your marital problems

“My wife was adamant about wanting a divorce. We have been living separately for nearly six months. But recently, the ice between us seems to be thawing. She is reaching out to me and our conversations are warmer and more pleasant. Are these signs my separated wife wants to reconcile?” A reader, who wished to remain anonymous, posed this query to the experts on Bonobology’s panel.

Your wife may be having second thoughts about divorce. One of the common reasons this happens is that the person who wanted a divorce begins to realize that they too have contributed to the marital problems that drove the couple to the brink. This instills hope that if both partners put in the work, it’s possible for them to begin a new chapter in their married life.

# She has gone through a big life change

Sometimes external factors could be responsible for your wife changing her mind about the divorce. Maybe she has had a health scare or experienced a loss during the time that you’ve been separated. Or perhaps, she has been in therapy to work through the grief of her dying marriage. Any of these experiences could have changed her perspective on the situation and made her realize that life is too short to hold on to grudges. That’s why she doesn’t want to go through with the divorce proceedings anymore.