5 Ways You Can Be A Better Listener In A Relationship

You might think that listening is effortless, but your partner might not think so. Everything starts from listening – by hearing the details of their day, to listening to their feelings and problems. The minute you’re not giving this to them, they can tell.

If you fail to listen, then you’ll also fail to know what exactly it is they’re asking from you.

Listening is the heart and core of communication, and talking only comes next. This is also why when conflict arises, you need to listen to what they’re saying and also to the things they aren’t saying. If you do something as simple as listening, your partner feels loved, acknowledged, seen, and understood all at once.

# Hear them

Before you can listen, you have to be aware that your partner is talking to you. If you are busy and hear them talking to you, stop what you are doing and talk to them. If you can’t do that, tell them that you will be with them shortly.

This is one of the most important things to keep in mind when learning how to be a better listener in a relationship.

If they don’t feel acknowledged, you’re already invalidating their feelings and not listening to them. Miscommunication happens when a person is too wrapped up in what they are doing and then fails to realize that their partner is talking to them.

It only takes a few seconds of your day to tell your partner that you’ll be with them in a second, instead of just assuming they know. They can’t read your mind, you know?

# Apologize

If you did not hear your partner the first time, apologize and try to correct the situation. Try not to let it happen again because an apology will not work on the same situation a second time around. Also, if your partner is trying to tell you about an error in your actions, assuming that it really is you in the wrong, apologize.

Don’t just listen to them ranting about your mistakes. Say sorry and show them you’ll do better. You can be a better listener simply by apologizing whenever you see fit, especially when they don’t feel acknowledged enough or when you did something wrong.

# Make a note of what your partner is saying

If your partner complains that you keep forgetting stuff, write it down. Put it in a visible place or set an alarm on your phone or computer. If your reason is forgetting what they’re saying and not because you didn’t listen enough, it always helps to write everything down.

This way, you won’t have an excuse to forget everything they just told you. You’re being accountable for your listening skills with this piece of advice.

# Understand what they are saying

It is not just about knowing what language you and your partner speak. You need to think hard about what they are saying. You have to understand how it affects you. You also need to know how you can help them if they are talking about a problem.

Don’t just hear the words coming out of their mouth, but also process what they’re trying to tell you. Being a good listener is all about reading these cues, even with the words not said aloud. So speak their language and try to see what they’re really saying.

# Do not give unsolicited advice

Always wait for them to ask for your help. When they do not ask for it, do not just leave it at that. Ask them if they need your help. Some people really just need an ear to listen, and this is especially true for your partner.

Before giving unsolicited advice, it’s best to know if they’re looking for someone to listen to or someone to provide them with advice. If it’s the latter, that’s your only confirmation to give them advice.

If you really want to learn how to be a better listener in a relationship, don’t just freely give advice they never asked for in the first place. Learn when to speak advice, and learn when just to listen.