6 Secrets To Making Your Marriage Work

Marrying someone from a different culture is one of the bravest things you can do in a relationship. It is truly an act of faith in your love as the obstacles any couple faces in a marriage are often multiplied in a multicultural marriage. If you are indeed able to face them together, you will be rewarded with a marriage which you know will withstand the test of time and a spouse who is willing to support and understand you through thick and thin.

Understanding the potential challenges which a multicultural marriage can face is the first step to finding a solution to making your marriage work. Here are a few steps which you can take to build a strong and happy marriage together.

#Attend a Marriage Preparation Course

This is practically a must for any couple planning to get married. Attending a marriage preparation course is a guided journey and discussion through all the most important decisions you will have to face together in your married life. Decisions around the roles of your families in your marriage, your hopes and expectations for your children, your roles within the marriage and your financial commitments and aspirations should be discussed.

Give your local marriage preparation course organisers a call. Explain your situation and see if they can match you up with guidance counsellors who are from multicultural marriages themselves. This will allow you a chance to hear from couples who have successfully met the challenges of being married into different cultures.

Even if you missed out on attending a marriage preparation course, you can still attend a marriage renewal course which most counselors recommend after 5 or 10 years of marriage or when there has been a significant life change for either of you.

#Learn about Each Other’s Cultures

Take the time to understand the symbolism and significance of each other’s traditions. Knowing more about these traditions will help us to identify with them and will allow us to participate together in explaining and passing on these traditions to our children.

#Learn a Mutual Language

If you don’t speak a mutual language well, make the effort to learn one. Ideally, learn to communicate well with each other before you get married. If you cannot communicate your deepest feelings, values and expectations with each other, you will find it hard to know how to make your spouse happy. If possible, take things slow and wait until both of you can communicate completely with each other before taking your relationship further.

#Teach Your Children to be Bilingual

Make the effort to teach your children both your languages. This allows them to communicate not only with both of you, but also with your extended families on both sides. It also helps your children to embrace and accept the dual nature of their cultural heritage.

# Help Your Spouse Adjust

If you live in a culture which is foreign to your spouse, bring them to places which they feel at home. Visit supermarkets and restaurants which serve food they might miss or enjoy. Attend language classes together, help your spouse develop friendships with people from their home country and people from your own country. Be there to listen and cheer them on in their efforts to become a part of your life and culture. Find a way to include your spouse’s culture in your everyday lives together.

#Keep in Touch with Family

Encourage your spouse to stay in touch with family. Use the internet, telephone, letters and visits when possible. Stay in touch with your own family too. Knowing that you haven’t “lost” your families because of your decision to marry each other is an important source of comfort and support for your marriage too.