7 Tips To Stop Cheating For Good
By: Kratika Tue, 04 Jan 2022 4:51 PM
Cheating is the worst possible thing we can do in our relationships. We’re basically betraying the trust of the one person we love, even as they handed it to us freely. So why do we cheat in the first place? Not to validate cheating, but people cheat for lots of reasons.
Maybe because either their physical or emotional needs weren’t being met, or their partners have changed into someone they no longer recognize. It could also be because they no longer love their partner and can’t handle confronting them about it.
Look, there are several reasons, but none of them ever make cheating a valid reason. But we do it anyway. Once you’ve cheated, it isn’t easy to turn back.
You have to live with that guilt and shame for a significant period and somehow, you don’t turn back because you feel stuck in your choices. But you can always learn how to stop cheating, that is if you want to.
# Remove yourself from the temptation
If you don’t want to get in danger, you stay out of the way of speeding cars. Keep out of situations where you will be tempted to cheat. Don’t invite yourself into sticky situations that you know would most likely end up with an undesirable outcome.
If you’re truly serious about learning how to stop cheating, remove the temptations around you. After all, prevention is better than cure. So if something triggers you to cheat, remove that or remove yourself out of the scenario.
# Think things over
There are many kinds of affairs—some are just casual sexual encounters, while some are deeper. It might be easier to let go of casual encounters more than affairs where you and your lover are emotionally attached. If you are still in love with your partner, you have to make a decision to stop.
However, when things are more complicated than that, like when you are also in love with the one you’re having an affair with, then you need to think through your options carefully. Decide how much time you need to think things over. Meanwhile, you can tell your lover you want to think and that you need space.
If you can, also ask for space from your partner, so you can be alone. Give yourself enough time to think before you really decide.
# Figure out why
People have different reasons for cheating. You may have your own reasons, and you believe these are pretty legitimate reasons. More often than not, though, these are just excuses. So if you really want to learn how to stop cheating, you need to figure out the reasons behind them.
Did you fall out of love with your partner? Is your partner emotionally detached? Are you in an abusive relationship and your lover provides you with a safe haven? Do you just want to have sex or to prove to yourself that you are still attractive?
These are questions you need to ask yourself and be honest when answering them. If you lie, you’re really only lying to yourself.
# Assess your affair
Once you have figured out why you are cheating, assess your affair. Do you think it’s really worth it? Is it worth betraying, deceiving, and hurting your partner? Is it really worth running around behind your partner’s back? Or maybe you are falling for your lover.
Most often, an affair really isn’t worth it, and people often end up going back to their original lovers. Assessing your affair can also help you make your decision as you weigh not only your options but, most importantly, the consequences of your actions, as you may not only be hurting your partner but your lover as well.
Remember, cheating doesn’t just impact you, but others around you.
# Assess your relationship
It is also important to consider is your here-and-now. Your relationship with your partner. Many people turn to extramarital affairs or affairs outside of their relationship because they feel their partners lack something, or that their relationship has taken a turn for the worse.
If you cheated because of something you could still fix, it’s never too late to try to fix that issue. Did you even try, or did you judge your relationship immediately and think it’s over?
Once you have figured out why you are having an affair and what your affair truly means to you, you weigh this against what is at stake—your relationship and your partner’s feelings.
# Count your blessings
Often, people don’t appreciate what they have, so they turn to desire for things they cannot have. For you, this can be a case of “the grass is greener on the other side.”
To help you gain better perspective, try to see your partner with renewed eyes and open your heart to all the possibilities of what you already have instead of wanting more, or worse, inviting trouble.
Love is a choice rather than a feeling, so you can’t hold on to the feeling of desire for your partner as the basis of love.
# Avoid comparisons
If you’re serious about learning how to stop cheating, don’t compare your partner with other people. How would you feel if they did the same thing to you? People have their strengths and weaknesses, and whatever good, beautiful, exciting, different, and desirable in your lover may just be the honeymoon glow in the works.
You may also find there are still other greener pastures, and the search for your ideal will never end. There is no perfect, especially in relationships. The sooner you come to terms with this, the better.