8 Steps To Have Better Communication In A Relationship

Many of us confuse communication with having a conversation. Sure, talking to someone is basic communication, but just because you’re talking doesn’t mean you express your feelings nor does it mean that the other person truly understands what you say. Learning how to communicate in a relationship is what makes it work or where it all falls apart.

So, yes, communication is key, but what we really mean is effective communication is key. All of us who’ve experienced problems in our relationships not just romantic had issues with communication. Sometimes, we’re too scared to tell people how we feel or we don’t want to cause an issue, so we brush it to the side. We think by ignoring the problem it will just go away. In most cases it only gets worse, usually resulting with someone blowing up in an angry rage.

# Stop talking and listen

We love to talk, almost to the point where we really don’t care if someone listens or not. But if you want to improve your communication, you must get out of your head and actively listen to your partner. Expressing your feelings is one thing, but if you don’t listen to their needs, you will not be able to reciprocate.

# You’re going to have to open up

This is the hard part for many of us. No one wants to become vulnerable, even though it’s perfectly healthy. Many of us think we’re “weak” for opening up to someone else and becoming vulnerable. How else will you express your feelings if you’re not honest with your partner?

# Don’t assume anything

Don’t assume that your partner feels this or thinks that. If you start assuming how they feel, you actually prevent proper communication from occurring. You know the saying, “When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me.” A truer phrase has never been spoken. Throw your assumptions out the window because they’re not going to help you one bit.

# When talking, use I

This is really the basics of effective communication. When you speak about your feelings, always use “I” statements. Don’t say “you.” This is accusatory and easily takes the discussion down a different, unpleasant road. So, for example, don’t say, “You never wash the dishes,” instead, say, “I feel annoyed when you don’t wash the dishes after saying you will.”

# You say a lot through body language

We communicate mostly through body language, shockingly. So, when you sit down to talk about your feelings, a frown on your face with your arms crossed isn’t giving off great vibes. Try to maintain an open and neutral position, one that doesn’t give off defensive or aggressive energy.

# Walk the talk

Everyone says they’re going to change and be a better person. Hell, even I’ve said it 100 times. But what really makes the difference is when you actually do it. If you don’t follow through with your words, how can you improve your communication skills with your partner? If you say you’re going to work on your anger, actually take the steps necessary to do so.

# It’s a two-way street

The only way to improve your communication is if both people are fully invested in it. If your partner is already working on their communication skills, you need to step up and meet them halfway. This won’t work if only one person does all the work.

# No texting

If you’re upset about something, sure, you can text them. However, it’s very easy to miscommunicate your feelings via text. The other person can’t hear your tone of voice or see your facial expression behind a text message. This is why you need to save these conversations for in-person talks, especially when you’re trying to understand how to communicate in a relationship in the best way possible. Yes, I know it’s easier to sit behind your phone, but it causes more bad than good.