9 Signs To Understand Is It Lust Or Love

Mistaking lust for love is not a new thing. The younger you are and the earlier you find yourself in a budding relationship, the more likely you are to confuse one for the other. But don’t worry, there’s no shame in it. With your hormones raging and your mind floating into a euphoric fantasy during the throes of romance, the line that divides the two gets pretty blurred… along with your sense of judgment. But, the whole lust vs love thing can still be confusing as you get older too.

The feelings of just-met-someone can be so intense that you don’t know what to think or feel. You just know that you’re on a rollercoaster ride of emotions and you don’t want to stop.

But, as things calm down, it’s normal to still feel like you want to rip their clothes off at every opportunity, or at least occasionally. Does that mean it’s still lust, or has love entered the building?

The truth is that love and lust are very different but lust will usually always be around to some degree. Whereas love takes a little time to make an appearance.

# What comes to your mind first?

If you’re filled with happiness and can’t hold your smile back when you see your new squeeze, you’re probably in love with them.

On the other hand, if you meet your lover and the first thing that comes to your mind every single time is how sexy they look or how badly you want to run your hands over their ass, your relationship is based on lust rather than love.

# What do you think about?

Do you feel happy and romantic all day, and find yourself staring at happy things or smiling without realizing it yourself? You’re probably in love.

Or do you feel really horny or sexually excited throughout the day? If this is the case, lust is definitely in the air and lust wins the lust vs love debate for now.

# Do you even talk and bond?

During the first couple of weeks or months, it’s natural that both of you can’t keep your hands off each other, and that’s okay. But once you’re past that first rush, how do both of you spend time with each other?

Do you end up making out all the time or do both of you have an intimate conversation? And even if you do make out or have sex, do both of you spend the night together, or do you kiss and say goodbye after an hour of great sex?

If having sex or making out is where all the fun ends and how all the time together is spent, then there’s more lust than love in the relationship. As important as physical intimacy can be, emotional connection too, is of vital importance in long-lasting love.

# It’s lust if every aspects of your relationship revolves around sex

When your relationship is built on lust, your primary motivation for sticking with that person is to have sex. That means that everything you do, all the sweet and romantic things, have an ulterior motive that will lead toward the bedroom.

This is where lust vs love differs, because true love is very different.

People in love value moments and experiences they share, even if they are mundane and boring to most. People in love don’t have to have sex all the time. Of course, it’s nice if they do, but it’s not usually the first thing on their minds.

# Quiet time vs fun times?

This is a subtle clue you can use to tell lust vs love apart. So where do you hang out over the weekends?

Do you and your partner go out with friends or party all night, or do both of you go out with each other to a restaurant or a quiet place to spend time with each other?

If you are genuinely in love with each other, you can’t help but want to spend time alone with each other, instead of running to a crowded spot. On the other hand, if you’re just looking to have a fun time, you’d prefer to spend time with friends. And if it’s lust on your mind, you’d go to a party and run your hands over each other all night.

So is it fun, love, or lust in your relationship?

# Lust tends to focus on physical attraction

When you’re in lust, you have the mindset that looking good is paramount. As a result, you dress to the nines, you try really hard to keep in shape, and step out of your house looking like you jumped out of a centerfold. Why, you ask? Because you want sex.

For people in lust, looking their best is the way to remain attractive to the other person.

Love, on the other hand, doesn’t care if you go out wearing your old college shirt or a pair of trousers with a hole in them. For people in love, it is the person inside the clothes that truly matters.

# Your best memories matter in deciphering lust vs love

Spend a few seconds right now and think of your partner and some of the best memories you have together.

Is it love or lust that comes to your mind? If most of the thoughts that come to your mind revolve around making out or the places you’ve had sex, it’s pretty clear that lust holds an upper hand in your relationship.

# You live in a fairytale world where the other person is flawless

When talking about lust vs love, it’s important to know that being in lust dulls your judgment because you tend to idealize both yourself and your partner.

While it is normal to put your best foot forward to make an impression, a more stable relationship requires you to put all your cards on the table so that the other person can know who you truly are—be it good or bad.

If you’re in lust, you tend to put up the facade of a person whom your partner idealizes. And likewise, you tend to look past the other person’s negative characteristics and focus only on the qualities that fit your fantasy.

The truth is that nobody is perfect. When you’re in love, you understand their flaws and accept them.

# When you think about your partner

When you’re at work or away from your partner, it’s natural to think of your new love now and then. When these fleeting moments of love drift in your mind, what do you think about?

Do you remember cuddling up and watching a movie, or your partner’s smile or laughter, or do you get gooseflesh remembering how good making out with this person feels?

If your thoughts linger on sexual memories more than all other memories, it definitely means you’re having a lot of great sex and that’s the high point in your relationship.