13 Major Signs You Are Dating An Alpha Widow

Ever sense that you're not merely in a relationship with her, but also in competition with the lingering memories of her ex? Congratulations, you might be grappling with the concept of an Alpha Widow. Don't be deceived – this isn't just some whimsical term to brush off. It's a concept rooted in profound psychological understanding.

Whether you're just testing the waters of the dating scene or you're a seasoned participant, having awareness of the Alpha Widow phenomenon can spare you from a plethora of heartaches and those late-night "why isn't she over her ex yet?" Google searches.

So, what exactly is an Alpha Widow?

Firstly, no, she's not mourning the demise of a wolf pack leader or anything of that sort. The term "Alpha Widow" is steeped in psychological jargon, particularly Attachment Theory.

It characterizes a woman who remains emotionally tethered to an ex-lover whom she regards as the Alpha Male in her dating history.

Within the framework of Attachment Theory, an Alpha Widow forms a robust emotional bond with her past partner, one that might not have been reciprocated or was inherently unhealthy.

This attachment is so potent that it tends to cast a shadow over her current relationships. Hence, if you're sensing that you're living in the shade of her 'remarkable' ex, you might indeed be involved with an Alpha Widow.

Major Signs Dating Alpha Widow

# Is she consistently bringing up her ex in conversations?

If she frequently discusses her extraordinary, adventurous, and incredibly cool ex, you might find yourself in the realm of an Alpha Widow. It feels as if her ex is a constant, haunting presence in your relationship.

While an occasional story is acceptable, if her ex becomes an unwelcome third party in every conversation, it's a clear signal to pay attention.

# Does she harbor unrealistic expectations for you?

If you sense that you're auditioning for the role of "Better Than Her Ex," it could be a telltale sign of dating an Alpha Widow. She might anticipate you to seamlessly pick up where her ex left off—matching not just the same restaurants and hobbies, but even the same cologne. It goes beyond filling shoes; it's as if you're expected to fill a custom-made, diamond-encrusted boot that only her ex could wear.

# Do frequent mood swings stem from old memories?

One moment she's cheerful, the next she's down in the dumps because a song on the radio triggers memories of a date with her ex. Mood swings tied to past memories are another indicator that you might be involved with an Alpha Widow. Emotional instability rooted in past experiences poses a significant challenge for any new relationship.

# Does she openly or subtly compare you to her ex?

Whether comparisons are explicit, such as stating, "My ex used to do this," or subtle, like a sigh or eye-roll when you do something differently, constant measurement against her past suggests you could be dealing with an Alpha Widow.

# Is she hesitant to commit?

Reluctance to commit may stem from emotional ties to her ex. Vague future plans or an avoidance of discussing a long-term vision for your relationship might be indicative of her lingering attachment to the past, hindering her full embrace of the present with you.

# Does she avoid introducing you to friends and family?

If you're being kept a secret or aren't quite "Facebook official," it could be because she's comparing you to her ex, who likely made a significant impression at family gatherings. An Alpha Widow might shy away from these introductions as it makes the relationship with you seem more real, and therefore, harder to compare to her idealized past.

# Does she appear indifferent to your achievements?

If your accomplishments elicit a response as flat as a pancake, it could be because, in her eyes, they don't measure up to the grand feats of her ex. An Alpha Widow may struggle to genuinely celebrate your victories.

# Is she frequently nostalgic about specific places or activities?

If certain places or activities are off-limits because they hold sentimental value from her past relationship, you could be dating an Alpha Widow. Her attachment to these locations may make it challenging for her to create new memories with you.

# Do arguments often revolve around her past?

While disagreements are normal in any relationship, if disputes frequently circle back to her ex, it's a clear sign that you're not just arguing with her; you're also contending with her past relationship.

# Does she keep mementos from her previous relationship?

Holding onto photos, letters, or gifts that should belong in the "ex-box" is a red flag. If she revisits these items frequently, it suggests she might still be emotionally attached to her past, marking her as a likely Alpha Widow.

# Does she often use the phrase "If Only"?

Sentences like "If only you were more like him" or "if only things had worked out with him, life would be perfect" indicate that she still views her ex as the gold standard. This is a key sign that you're dealing with an Alpha Widow.

# Is her social media filled with memories of her ex?

If her social media platforms serve as a shrine to her past relationship, it's noteworthy. While having old pictures is normal, an excessive emphasis on the past suggests she might be emotionally and virtually residing there.

# Does she go through your phone looking for faults?

An Alpha Widow may be searching for reasons why you don't measure up to her ex. If she's scrutinizing your texts, calls, or social media, it could be an attempt to find faults justifying why you're not as good as her "Alpha" ex.