6 Reasons Why You Should Not Split Your Parental Responsibilities Equally

Upon the arrival of your baby, additional responsibilities are inevitable. Both you and your partner will endure sleepless nights, jointly caring for your newborn. Managing doctor's appointments, adhering to feeding schedules, handling diaper duties, and organizing sleeping schedules will seamlessly integrate into your daily life. Your domestic duties will also escalate, requiring you to allocate time for cooking, cleaning, and trips to the store to procure baby essentials. Additionally, you must carve out time to bathe your baby, administer massages, and sterilize their clothes and belongings. Given these circumstances, it may seem logical for couples to opt for a 50/50 split in parental responsibilities. However, we're here to explain why that might not be the most optimal approach. Intrigued? Read on to discover why dividing parental duties evenly may not be the ideal solution!

# Conflict Is Inevitable

Engaging in parental responsibilities often leads to conflicts with your partner. Despite the immense joy accompanying the birth of your baby, the realization of the substantial workload can trigger tension between you two. Sleep deprivation, a common experience for new parents, can turn both of you into irritable individuals due to constant exhaustion. Hence, when you attempt an equal division of duties, one of you is likely to keep a tally, inevitably fostering additional conflicts. Statements such as "Did you complete this task?" or "You were supposed to do that" can aggravate and irritate each other, adding to the discord.

# You Both Feel Like You’re Doing Too Much

When you opt for a 50/50 division of tasks, you might find yourself overwhelmed with the perception of handling an excessive workload. Both you and your partner may feel that the responsibilities are too demanding, leaving little time for rest. The truth, however, is that the demands of parenthood are constant—from the moment your baby wakes up in the morning until they go to sleep, and even beyond. Additionally, if you're a working parent returning to your job after maternity or paternity leave, striking a balance between work and family becomes an additional challenge.

# Collaboration Beats Competition

Consider a scenario where you and your partner possess inherently competitive natures. In such a case, parenting duties may inadvertently become a platform for each of you to outperform the other, and this dynamic is not conducive for either party. Opting for collaboration instead of competition can provide mutual assistance during challenging days. Embrace shared exhaustion and offer support to one another. However, when couples engage in a competitive stance on every aspect, it tends to breed resentment and foster loneliness.

Always bear in mind that you are both in this journey together. Your little one is a product of your shared efforts—a miracle in itself—worthy of joint celebration. Share your concerns, alleviate stress, and navigate this experience through collaborative efforts and mutual support.

# Discuss, Divide, And Conquer

The arrival of a baby brings about significant and profound changes in your life. Likewise, the dynamics of your relationship with your partner undergo a transformation. It's no longer just the two of you; there is now a baby who relies entirely on your care. Therefore, it is crucial to remain united in love, ensuring that your baby receives the best from both you and your partner, no matter the challenges that may arise.

# Divide Based On Ability

Upon the arrival of your baby, create a comprehensive list outlining the potential parental duties. Understanding the nature of your responsibilities takes precedence over quantifying the workload. Effective division and clear assignment of tasks can lead to greater accomplishments. Therefore, the distribution of responsibilities may not always adhere to a strict 50/50 split, as it may not be the most equitable approach.

Consider factors such as convenience, time, effort, and fatigue when determining how to divide tasks. For instance, on days when you have a multitude of tasks, it might not be optimal to distribute them evenly, especially if some tasks are unique to one parent. For instance, breastfeeding is a task exclusive to the mother. However, if the mother expresses milk, the father can participate by feeding the baby, allowing the mother to recuperate from the physical demands of childbirth.

# Keep Room For Flexibility

While it's acceptable to designate specific responsibilities, it's important not to be inflexible about it. Couples should be open to occasionally swapping their duties if they both agree. This practice can alleviate the monotony of repeatedly performing the same tasks day after day. Pay attention to the activities that have become routine, and consider asking your partner to take over, offering to handle something else in return.

# Make Sure To Get Ample Rest

Many new parents tend to overexert themselves, driven by a sense of responsibility and a commitment to hard work, often neglecting the importance of rest. However, our bodies require adequate rest, as a lack thereof can lead to a loss of focus in daily activities. While it might be challenging for both you and your partner to rest simultaneously during this period, a practical approach is to support each other when one decides to take a brief break. This way, you can take turns resting, ensuring that both of you stay rejuvenated for the days ahead.