11 Things To Do And Not To Do Post Break Up

So, you've recently gone through a breakup, and it feels as though you've just been through an intense emotional collision at high speed. Your heart is in turmoil, your thoughts are scattered like debris on the road, and you're left wondering how you'll ever manage to put everything back together. It might seem pretty bleak at the moment, right? However, don't lose hope.

Similar to how there's a set of procedures to follow after a car crash, there's also a protocol for dealing with heartbreak. That's precisely what we're delving into today: what steps to take after a breakup.

Whether your romantic relationship lasted for a mere five months or a solid five years, stay tuned because we're about to navigate the intricate pathways of life after a breakup.

If you're reading this, chances are you're deeply immersed in a sea of emotions. Let's face it, breakups are incredibly tough, and there's no way to sugarcoat it. However, gaining an understanding of why it hurts so much can actually be a valuable part of the healing process. So, what should you do in the aftermath of a breakup?

Well, your brain perceives this emotional turmoil somewhat like physical pain. Moreover, it enters a 'fight or flight' mode.

Let's delve into the science behind this phenomenon so that you can acquire some effective coping strategies.

What To Do After A Breakup?

# The self-care regime

While pondering what steps to take following a breakup, it's important to understand that self-care goes beyond mere aesthetic benefits. In the realm of biopsychology, self-care has been substantiated as a means to rebalance neurotransmitters such as serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins. This transition aids in shifting from a stress-induced state to one that is more calm and focused.

So, don't hesitate to schedule that massage or indulge in a spa day. Your neurotransmitters will certainly appreciate the gesture.

# Cognitive emotional regulation

As you seek guidance for dealing with a breakup, it's essential to recognize that you possess an inherent mental toolkit tailored for emotional regulation. According to emotion regulation theory, a pivotal technique within this toolkit is cognitive reframing.

In this context, employing a mantra can prove to be remarkably potent. When you're confronted with emotional turbulence, just reaffirm to yourself, "I have authority over my emotions; they do not govern me." This affirmation has the potential to manifest as a self-fulfilling prophecy.

# The social media cleanse

One of the most valuable breakup tips is to detach yourself from the attention-driven digital realm. Taking a hiatus from social media platforms helps your mind break free from the continuous flow of dopamine triggered by constant updates and likes. This hiatus provides your emotional system with the opportunity to reset itself.

# Journaling

Still pondering your course of action following a breakup? Consider giving journaling a try. This method is based on the principles of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and enables you to reshape your emotional storyline while aiding in the tangible processing of your emotions.

# Get rid of your ex’s things

Don't hold onto that old hoodie as if it were your lifeline.

When seeking breakup guidance, it's essential to recognize the influence of your surroundings. It's challenging to move forward if you encircle yourself with mementos and reminders of your past relationship.

Therefore, pack it all away in a box and stow that box where it's out of sight and out of your thoughts. Alternatively, for a more cathartic approach, you should never underestimate the therapeutic release of burning their photographs!

# Avoid drastic changes

Feeling the urge to dye your hair blue or get an impromptu tattoo? Exercise patience. Emotions are transient, whereas certain decisions have enduring consequences.

Following a breakup, the counsel often leans toward dramatic transformations. However, it's wise to postpone such decisions, as heightened emotional states can obscure your judgment, potentially resulting in choices you may later regret.

# Keep yourself busy

When it comes to navigating life after a breakup, staying busy with a packed schedule serves a purpose beyond mere distraction—it represents a form of behavioral activation. This approach is akin to a technique employed in the treatment of depression. Engage in activities such as exercise, travel, or learning new skills like juggling—whatever keeps your mind actively occupied.

# Be patient with yourself

Most importantly, your path to healing and improvement won't follow a straight line. On some days, you might feel like the protagonist in a romantic comedy, while on others, it could be more of a tearful drama. And that's perfectly alright.

Your narrative is still in the process of unfolding, and believe us, it's well worth staying tuned in to see how it all turns out in the end.

What You Should NOT Do?

# The rebound trap

We've all come across the notion that the most effective method for moving on from someone is to find solace in the arms of another. However, our dear friends, it's crucial to acknowledge the existence of decision fatigue, particularly when your emotions are in turmoil.

Rebound relationships often place you in the precarious position of making emotional decisions when you are the least prepared to do so.

Therefore, it's advisable to take a break from dating apps until you feel ready to make choices with a clear and composed mind.

# Don’t rely on substances

Certainly, indulging in a glass of wine might offer a sense of solace, but it's not the magical remedy to mend your broken heart.

In accordance with the self-medication hypothesis, relying on substances to cope with emotions can potentially lead to dependency. In essence, you're not resolving the underlying issue; instead, you might be inadvertently giving rise to another problem.

# Resist overthinking and ruminating

If you're in search of guidance regarding how to handle a breakup, your thoughts may be inundated with "what-ifs" and "if-onlys." However, exercise caution.

These mental spirals are typical cognitive distortions that can transform you into your own adversary. It's crucial to recognize that not every thought equates to a concrete fact—keep this in mind when your mind tempts you to engage in the blame game.